My dilemma is motivation. I keep getting in to these cycles of depression where I'm wondering what the point is. When I'm in top shape women notice me more. I don't look like a movie star but the combination of my physique and leaner face gets me attention. Even a social illiterate like me can tell. Of course that makes me stressed and nervous that some woman will try to be friendly and strike up a conversation with me, (it's happened in the past). If I don't have the social skills to take advantage of the benefits of a fit healthy body then why put in the effort?
I'm aware of the benefits of high levels of fitness and the endorphin rush I get after a hard workout is something I still look forward to. But sometimes I still think that I'll go into the box without having lived and that for all my effort I'm just ensuring I'll have a fit looking corpse.
END OF RANT
