It seems that the most popular solution is online dating. But in order to try it, I have some obstacles.

I don't have the privacy that I would like for my life. As many here, my familiy (parents, both retired & brother who works from home) don't know that I'm LS and that's how I want to keep it. But we live in a small house and they can see almost every damn thing that I do in the computer, so I'm limited to short periods of time online in college or paying in a cybercafe (like I'm doing right now). Also, in the case that I manage to make things right, I couldn't give the woman my number, and my cellphone wouldn't help as long as I just couldn't answer properly if I'm at my house, and I think that it will be suspicious to her if I tell her that she can only call me in the hours that I'm at college. Aslo there is the point that most women want to go to dance to a club or drink to a bar. I'm not very enthusistic about these activities, I don't like the music that people usually dance to (and I don'thave a clue in dancing itself). It would be nice to go to a bar with a rocking band, but the real problem is that I can't afford that, or mostly any other possible activity for a date, because I'm limited to the "son's salary".

And even if I can find an activity that I could afford, I still have my parents on my back, so i'll have to came up with something better than a college work to justify why I'm going out for a couple hours in a weekend night with my best clothes on. You may say "just tell them that you have a date, they'll be glad", but the thing is that I actually don't know what to do in the unlikely case of getting one because my parents are so hypercritical and I just don't thrust my family to talk about these subjects. So far my parents doesn't seem to realize the little fact that I've never had female friend since I was five, and they're not being polite, they annoy me with comments about every damn thing that they think is wrong with me. Actually, I've heard my mom saying a couple times that she thinks that is not wise to have a girlfriend while one is in college because it just will be a distraction, may be she just thinks that I share that damn idea. And my brother may probably think that I'm just a shy nerd that still haven't had luck (BTW, he's an extroverted geek).

In the case of actually having a date I've read that some acohol may help one to loosen up (just that, not getting totally wasted); that's not my case, I've gotten completly drunk a couple time and my behavior doesn't change at all (of course, I loose my motor functions); actually I may get even more quiet.

The other proposal that I've readed (I wouldn't call it a solution) is to pay hookers to loosen up with woman and gain sexual experiece. Seems reasonable, but I just can't afford a decent hooker (and even many indecent), and for some reason I still have a voice in my head saying that there's something moraly wrong there (then I wonder why I dont have problems with porn, I mean, it's also sex for money). At the end it probably is the fear of being caught in this society with double moral (not for legal reasons, it's legal in my city).

I think that I should mention that I've never been even in the friendzone, wich actually seems like a problem less to be solved. And about meeting women in my college, well in the Engineering faculty there are like two girls (topps) for each 30-40 man in every class, and of course all the interesting ones already have a boyfriend. The only place that seems reasonable for me to meet women is in the libraries, but of course, start a conversation with a stranger it's impossible for me by now.

The only thing that by now I see that I could do is to work out in the college's gym now that I finally have time for that.

A few things to finish: I do not belive that looks are the key, but it certainly helps, same for the money. And I don't belive that stuff of "think good things and good things will happen", I believe more in "work really fraggin' hard and good things may happen."

So, after all this liberating chit-chat, what do you people have to say?

Based on your post, I wouldn't even worry about online dating or paying for a hooker.

If you're scared to even talk to a woman, you'll be terrified when the time comes to finally have sex. Trust me on that one.

Online dating is actually pretty terrible if you're a guy. Unless you're using rehashed pick-up lines ala Mystery Method, girls on there don't even want to talk to you. But they do love to bask in the attention.

Based on the fact that you said you never had female friends since age 5...

My suggestion is to practice being more outgoing in general. Practice talking to and joking around with girls. But even with guys, there is still a benefit in broadening your social circle and stepping out of your shyness 'comfort zone'. Treat it as a learning experience. You will almost certainly get friendzoned a few times before finally scoring a gf. Building attraction is somewhat of an art. It's an artform I'm still struggling with. But the more outgoing you become in general, the easier it is to flirt. Also, another little tidbit of advice is not to take women too serious or put them on a pedestal. Not saying you necessarily would, but it's a common mistake.

Definitely hit the gym if you find the time. Not so much because a hot body is everything for a guy, but because it'll build confidence and make you feel a little more 'alpha'. That matters easily just as much as the muscle themselves.



I would have to agree that the latter quote is a better description of reality.

eharmony's compatibility test is a friggin joke. I was one of the 20% rejected. And it's amazing they still haven't fixed that after all these years.

aint that a bitch... 20% rejected, really? wow that's ridiculous.

Yeah, rejected by the site itself. A new low.



Translation: You are a unique individual who does not fit into one of our cookie cutter archtype profiles, so therefore our shitty software isn't even going to try to match you with anyone.

Interesting. So it seems that the online dating gets many noise in the forums but as I suspected, it's a a solution that only works for a few. I'm beggining to belive that one has to build confidence out of somewhere, then go out more and more in order to get used to social interaction. Of course, that's not easy, it's unvelievable hard, but I don't considere it impossible; for example, because of my asma when I was a kid I had otitis and it was an annoying problem every time that water entered in my ears. Eventually I get cured from the otitis, but then I get a real phobia to go underwater when I swimmed. So one day I just said to my self "fuck it" and started to sunk my head underwater until the fear was gone. The first couple time I almost inmediatly get out of water totally freaked out, but at the end it worked, without any theraphy or self help books crap. Of course, LS is way more complex, but I think that the principle is the same.

But still, asuming that I finally manage to get a date, I still will have all the problems with my family listed above.