Ok, firstly just to warn you this will be a long post and doesn’t necessarily paint me in the best of lights. I thought I would give as much information as possible because there may be details I think are more/less important when this is not necessarily the case.
Background on me: I’m female. I completed a PGCE Primary course in July, after a year from hell. Back in February/March time I was placed at a very difficult school with a teacher who made no secret of the fact she would rather I wasn’t around. I suffer from depression and the stress of the course plus the mind games she played put me into a really bad place. When I returned to uni, having passed my placement, I burst into uncontrollable sobbing when simply asked to discuss my experience with my table. I had to leave the room and calm down. I thought I had got over this by the time my next placement rolled around at the beginning of May but being back in a school, along with the fact I turned 25 during this time, put my back into the dark place. On my 25th birthday, I hit an all-time low and actually went a bit off the rails; I decided to move out of my house and in with a friend and her male flatmate (who I had met a few times and he had been trying to persuade me to move in) who lived 40 mins away, once I moved in I decided to move out again the next day only to then move back in again, with the view to only staying a month and a half, the next weekend. Once I had moved in, I painted the room without asking anyone – yellow to blue! I would like to point out I am not usually this impulsive, indecisive or unreasonable. Two weeks after I had moved my stuff in (yet still lived 40 mins away in my house), I went out with a friend for cocktails with a view to staying in the flat that night as it was closer than my house was. That night we discussed guys and I was saying how I was attracted to three at the time, one being my male flatmate. I said at this point though that, aside from the general taboo of it, he was bad news. I decided, however, that I would ask him if he wanted to watch the Champions League final the next evening – I love my football.
Background on the guy: He's the lead singer of band so he's not shy in that respect but he seems shy offstage. He has some female friends and is very into football (which I've read are atypical in terms of LS) but the majority of his friends are male. He does have a lot of friends but they are colleagues as he is a musician and promoter so he comes into contact with a lot of people and has to form relationships with them. He seems to prefer spending time with his flatmate and band mates, however. He has pictures of himself with girls but none of them appear to be gfs and this is going back years and years. This guy is VERY attractive, interesting, talented and pleasant.
Story (the boy I want to focus to be on is Fred): The morning after I'd gone for cocktails, I woke up and packed some things ready to drive the 40 mins back to my house so I could play a new game I had just got (L.A. Noire). On the way out I was stopped by my male flatmate who asked me what I was doing that day, I said I was going to play this new game I had and then watch the football. He asked me if I wanted to come with him to watch the football with him and his mates later, I said yes! When we got to the pub, he introduced me to the guys who are in a band. I won’t put any real names in case anyone knows the people in question, so I’ll rename them. The two lads from this band who will feature in this story I shall call Joe and Fred. So my flatmate introduced me to the lads by pointing at them from a distance and giving me details about them, there were 5 in total plus a gf but I only really chatted to two of them: Joe, who was introduced as the ‘confident good looking one who gets all the girls’ and Fred, who was introduced as ‘the shy one who doesn’t approach girls’ or similar. Straight away I could see these snippets of info coming into play, but then I may have been looking for them. Joe was very chatty, as were the rest of the band, and trying to include me and Fred just stood in the corner sipping his drink and pretending I wasn’t there. This actually bothered me a lil bit because I felt an instant attraction towards Fred but had the distinct impression he’d rather I wasn’t there.
We watched the footy, I was supporting the opposite team to most people in the pub and getting vocal about it but it was making the lads laugh. My flatmate managed to pour beer all over my jeans (I was dressed casually to go to a pub and watch football) and then tried to play down the fact it was an issue saying it would dry so being cheeky (I’m very cheeky) I picked up my Malibu and coke and threw it on his crotch, telling him the same words of comfort he’d been telling me ‘Don’t worry, it’ll dry./Get over it, stop overreacting.’ He thought it was funny though – I know him well enough to know this is ok to do. After the football, my flatmate and I went to play on the IT box with Joe and Fred. By this time, most of us were pretty drunk. I was getting a bit trigger happy and was pressing all the wrong answers so eventually I put my hands behind my back and promised I wouldn’t do it anymore. Fred, out of nowhere, put his arms round me and said he’d make sure I didn’t and kept saying ‘You’re trouble, you are! I can tell!’ in a really flirty way. We got chatting and found things in common, one of them relating back to the t-shirt I was wearing and he got really excited whenever we both yelled out the same answers, even when we were both completely wrong ‘I said that!!! OMG, I said that too!! At the same time!!!’
Eventually we decided to leave the pub and go clubbing, but I was adamant I didn’t want to go in the clothes I was wearing: too casual and beer stained! I kicked up a stink about going back to the flat to get changed, even though it was the opposite direction to the club. Whilst outside, the band apart from Fred got into one taxi and Fred stayed with me and my flatmate. They got in a taxi and told me to get in too but I said no I’d get my own and meet them there after I had changed. Eventually they promised that we’d go via the flat. I made the taxi driver promise me so I couldn’t be hoodwinked. The whole way there, they were moaning and groaning and I actually began to feel bad. I didn’t want to upset my flatmate or pee his mate off, especially as I really quite liked his mate. Awful bit of the story coming up now, but I shall remind you that I was in a bad place mentally and I have never done anything like this before and will never do anything like it again! I was there, very aware of the fact I was dragging these two lads all around the houses just for the sake of my own vanity and was trying to think how I could show my appreciation/make it up to them. I jokingly said ‘I feel bad now, tell ya what I’ll make it up to ya; I’ll show you my underwear before I put on my dress.’ It makes me cringe to even type that. Urgh. Anyways, being lads, they were overly keen and even though I had been joking... I had said I would do it. I guess I was naive in that I thought they’d jokingly agree but instead they were asking me to promise. So I did it... my flatmate was wolfwhistling and Fred looked quite uncomfortable actually... embarrassed even. It was his reaction that sorta woke me up to the fact this was not a good thing to do so I chucked a dress on and we went back out.
We stopped at a pub before heading the club and whilst I was there my flatmate started dragging me about introducing me to all manner of people who work in/with bands. That was fun. I then decided I wanted to dance so I went off by myself. My flatmate came to join me. Fred appeared a couple of times but he saw us dancing together (to rock music though, so no grinding or anything like that) and then I didn’t see him again. Turns out he went to the club. My flatmate and I decided we were tired and went home. He tried it on with me, in a way that made me think he was serious despite his reputation (he was doing things like cuddling me from behind whilst I brushed my teeth and admiring our reflection and stuff) until 2pm the next afternoon and then I finally caved in and did some things which I regret, mainly because I didn’t even want to/enjoy doing it at the time. I found the guy attractive but I don’t do one night stands – I don’t see anything wrong with it but for me sex isn’t just a physical act. Anyways, this, along with him letting people (Joe) sleep in the room I was paying for, without asking – if he had I would have said yes, and taking my DVDs out of my room and leaving them lying around out of their cases, made it nigh impossible for us to stay friends.
A week after this, Fred will still on my mind. I found this odd considering that we’d only had a bit of a flirt and then I been completely erractic, but it bothered me I’d made such a bad impression so I decided to add him on Facebook. I justified it with some accompanying message like ‘Had a good giggle with you on Sat before you disappeared.’ He accepted me and a lil while later he was on chat so I sent him a message saying ‘I didn’t make to bad an impression on you then?
’ or something. He didn’t reply so I left him alone and all but forgot about him. I also saw that my flatmate had written on Fred’s Facebook wall saying ‘Enjoy the ‘view’ round my pad last night?’ to which Fred had replied ‘Unbelievable pal! Where did that come from? Nice view, nice bit of Jamesons and a lovely jacket! Where did you end up? My memory is very limited’
In July, after I had moved out of the flat and deleted my flatmate (Fred’s mate) from Facebook, I was watching BBC news at teatime and saw a familiar face – Fred was on TV promoting an event he was running. I posted on his wall something silly like ‘There’s a guy on the news who is the spit of you, come to think of it his name is Fred Bloggs!’ No reply but it is still on his wall, so he didn’t delete it despite the fact we don’t know each other very well and it was silly.
Skip forward to mid-November, now by this time I had forgotten due to Facebook changes (when it changed it put everybody onto my livefeed so I changed it to only display close friends) that I even had Fred on my friends list. I was playing FIFA (not the most feminine of girls) and listening to an online radio station when Blur came on. This particular radio station flashes up pictures of the band that is currently playing and it flashed up a picture of Blur dressed as Blondie doing a spoof of the cover of their album Parallel Lines. I had to share it on FB. I uploaded the picture with the caption: ‘One point if you can name the band. A second point if you can name the band they are dressed as. A bonus point if you can name the album which they are parodying. All my love if you can name all three.’
A few seconds later, I had a notification and Fred had posted:
‘Blur, Blondie, Parallel Lines
Never seen that before!’
so I said:
‘Me neither! I was playing FIFA whilst listening to last.fm (cuz I’m cool like that) and this picture flashed up. It caught my eye and I had to share it. You now have all my love, Mr. Bloggs
x’
I didn’t expect a reply (he’d never replied before...) but a few seconds later, one appeared:
‘Yes!!!!! I’m a happy man now
’
I didn’t reply, I just “liked” it.
A couple of days later it was still playing on my mind. I was wondering if it was an attempt to flirt with me. I was curious as to what Fred’s band was like, as at this point I hadn’t listened to them, so I went on to Youtube and searched for them. I was actually blown away, they are fantastic. It’s a shame I can’t name them really. I decided to send him a message telling him how great his band were/flirting as I felt I had missed a trick so I sent him a message saying:
‘I reckoned ‘all my love’ should probably include your band as well so I finally checked you guys out on Youtube. I’m pleased to hear you’re pretty ****ing good, it makes things a lot easier on my part
[Name] XXX’
I didn’t get a reply. Nevertheless, my best friend Emma (whom I used to live with in the flat, along with the male flatmate) said that we should go and see his band play.
Skip to December, about two weeks later, we went to the gig. My ex-flatmate asked me which one I was ‘after’ and I said Fred. He said ‘He’s not going to be easy you know. You get Fred and you’ve got him for life! He’s not a player!’ to which I said ‘Good!’ I want this boy for the long-haul, he’s lovely. Emma, Kate (her friend) and I had some pre-drinks and were quite merry when we got there. Joe was standing at the back with my ex-flatmate (who I was trying really hard to get along with) and he said hello to me even though I’d only met him once that night we watched the Champions League final. I had a joke with him about him sleeping in my bed then we watched the support act. My ex-FM was saying ‘So you really like Fred, eh?’ I said yes but not to tell him and he said ‘I don’t need to tell him, you paraded around in your pants for him! Poor little Fred Bloggs didn’t know where to look...’ which was true and made me cringe. At this point, Kate also befriended a guy, Sean, she found extremely attractive who was friends with my ex-FM. Between the support act and his band going on, Fred came over to speak to my ex-flatmate. They hugged and over my ex-FM’s shoulder Fred spotted me... I was shy but managed to squeak hi at him. He said hi back and then scooted off.
After the band had performed, we headed off to a pub and some of the band turned up too. Joe was among them, I chatted to him no problem and he was really friendly. He was also quite flirty but I told him I really liked Fred. Fred and Sean were chatting at the bar and us girls went over to join in. We were having a perfectly pleasant convo until they brought up the underwear incident and then Sean said something out of line so I playfully slapped him – I didn’t hurt him but he was shocked and, obviously not knowing the guy, it isn’t the sort of thing I could apologise enough for. Joe left his jacket with us drunk girlies; Kate put his jacket on and Emma started filling the pockets up with condiments (still in their packets, don’t worry). I thought this looked like fun so I joined in too. Later on though, I told Joe and after he emptied the sauces onto the bar, we got ejected from the pub.
We went to another pub and I kept demanding to know when Fred would show up – he still hadn’t and it was about 1am. I was dancing with the girls when a vision caught me eye and it was Fred. It was about 1.30 and his gig had finished at 11 (so ample time for him to have been drinking). I panicked. All my confidence gone. I shyed up and moved away. Having said that, he did the same. He only looked over when he thought we weren’t looking back. The people we were out with kept coming over and asking me when I was going to go and chat to Fred. I said I would later. Joe came up to me (who I will remind you is Fred’s flatmate and best friend) and said ‘Have you spoken to Fred yet?’ I told him that I hadn’t and I couldn’t because he was too nice and too good for me. Joe rolled his eyes with a smile and walked off. To be fair though, he hadn’t spoken to me either. Emma wasn’t going to let me get away with not speaking to Fred though, she pushed me into him at the bar and when that didn’t work she took me over to him and said ‘Are you in the band?’ to which he said ‘Nooooo...’ with a cheeky grin on his face. Emma said ‘I’m [ex-FM]’s flatmate’ and Fred then started chatting to her. She said ‘I think you already know [my name]’ and he said ‘Of course I know [nickname he’d given me based on my taste in football.]’ This impressed me actually because there’s no way he’d know what football team I supported unless he had paid attention to my Facebook posts – I’d only met him once before. I told him I’d been too shy to say hi to him and he asked why. I said because of ‘what happened last time in the flat’ and he assured me that I was being silly and that it had just been funny adding ‘What a way to meet someone’, however when he saw how mortified I was he said ‘Come here’, gave me a hug and told me not to be silly. After we’d sorted that out, we were chatting music and films and did not run out of things to talk about – we share so many interests, including a love of a British director who isn’t very well known. In fact, we’d both only not seen one of his films (the same one!) despite us being huge fans of the guy. An Oasis song came on and we all joined up in a huddle to sing and dance to it, there was a lad between myself and Fred but he swiftly got out of the circle and Fred quick as a flash put his arm round me again. Later on, Emma got her camera out and tried to take a photo of my ex-FM. He decided he wanted Fred in it too and dragged him away from me to be in the picture. In this picture Fred is pulling a very animated
face – he did a few times that night, looked so silly haha. It was blurry so Emma tried to take it again but Fred pulled me into the picture too and one of his friends got in the way just before it was taken. Fred got angry and made Emma take the photo again, and he is smiling in this one, with his arm round me and body angled towards mine despite the fact that my ex-FM has both arms round his middle. Shame I can’t show you the photos really. Fred asked me what my plans were that night so I said I didn’t know, he checked his watch and said it was about 2am so we couldn’t go to a club. Mumford and Sons came on and I started celebrating along with most of his friends, but I turned to see Fred standing there with his arms folded looking grumpy (I do this when I hate music in pubs/clubs too) so I said ‘You don’t like Mumford?!’ to which he replied ‘NO!’ I looked shocked and he smiled and said ‘And I don’t like Chelsea either!’ (Chelsea being my team) and I looked even more shocked. Then he added ‘And that Frank Lampard...’ to which I made a crucifix with my fingers as if he was a vampire/the anti-Christ which made him laugh. Eventually he told me I hadn’t let him finish and that Lampard was a very nice man because he had met him. Well... I thought this was very flirty because he had used two things he knew I loved (although I don't know how) to be cheeky to me, so it was specific and meant he must know things about me when we really didn’t know each other AT ALL. Shortly after this I went off to dance with my girls again and let Fred socialise with his friends. Kate was busy snogging Sean and Fred came up to me and said ‘Wow, some people move so fast!’ and I agreed with him.
Emma told me she wanted to go home and I told Fred. He pulled his
face and then said ‘Oh but I’m sure that ex-FM will stay out’ and went to check with him. He came back and reassured me that I could stay out because my ex-FM was too (I was staying at their flat you see). About half an hour later my ex-FM had a change of heart and said he wanted to go too. I told Fred and he pulled his
face again. He went over to speak to Emma, who was sat on a sofa, and came back saying ‘Yeah she definitely wants to go doesn’t she?’ I said yes but that I didn’t want to go and he said ‘We’ll meet up again though!’ so I said ‘Really?’ (I was quite shocked) and he said ‘Yeah, course we will!’ so I asked when and he said ‘Well I’m going to be in [town] on Mon, [town] on Tuesday and [town] on Weds... what about Saturday? We could go to the market and then watch some football.’ I said yes and that I’d never been to the market before, he looked shocked and said he’d definitely take me. He kissed my lips lightly and smiled. He asked me if I had his number, I said no I didn’t. He said he couldn’t take mine because his fone had died (I don’t know if this is true, but he definitely hadn’t checked it the whole time we were out so I’ll give him the BOD) so I went and got my fone and gave it to him so he could give me his number. He put in some digits then laughed and said he couldn’t remember his number, he called over his friend then said ‘No that’s right’ and gave me my fone back. I put in his name and spelt it wrong so he laughed at me and told me cheekily that his name wasn’t ‘Frumd’. I corrected it and asked him if it was better. He kept telling me to txt him tomorrow. I asked him cheekily if he would reply and he said ‘Of course, why wouldn’t I?’ so I told him he’d never replied to any of my messages before. He said he definitely would stuck out his lil finger to pinky promise me. We carried on chatting for a bit then I went to speak to Emma. She told me to invite Fred back with us. I did ask and he said he’d love to but that his mates were from Wales (a good drive away) and they wanted a big night out. I said that was cool. I told Emma and she told me that Fred had said to her that I was a very nice girl and that he would definitely take me out. I was happy. Her feet hurt so I went and said goodbye to Fred. He kissed me again and reminded me to txt him tomorrow. I told him I’d txt him now whilst I remembered and he said yes to do that. I went to kiss him but he thought I was leaning in to talk to him and turned his head so I kissed him cheek then said bye.
In the taxi, I txt him (drunk) saying ‘While I remember you pinky promised me that we would go to the market this weekend (my fist [sic] time) and watch some footy. I appreciate that you’re drunk but I’m holding you to that. Name XXX’ I mentioned that I’d txt him and my ex-FM said ‘You didn’t get anywhere with Fred. You didn’t try hard enough, love!’ so I said that he had given me his number, kissed me, told me he would take me out and told me to txt him. That shut my ex-FM up and he actually looked quite shocked -not normal behaviour for Fred?!
Next morning I re-read what I’d sent and felt like a tool. By Tuesday I still hadn’t got a reply so I decided to txt him a less specific, sober message saying ‘Hey, thought I’d treat ya to a sober txt. I didn’t realise how drunk I was until I woke up on Sunday with a hangover from hell. How were you feeling Sunday? Did you do anything exciting on your ‘big night out?’ Was good to see ya again
Name XXX’
I did not get a reply. Is it possible that this guy was too shy to txt back? He always seems really shy with me and shy in general when he’s sober. He was introduced to me as the shy one. He didn’t speak to me until we initiated convo but then he wouldn’t stop talking to me. Even so, sometimes he seemed a bit unsure or waffling. He didn’t make any attempt to get away from me and, indeed, in some instances sought me out to speak to me again. He tried to get me to stay out and kept kissing me. He gave me the right number (it’s on his FB page) and he was playing gigs in all the towns he said on the days he said. His friends do indeed live in Wales. I really am at a loss as to why I didn’t get a reply. I reckon either he’s not interested or he was too shy/scared to meet me again. What do you think?
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FAQ
I highly, highly doubt you're bugging him. Seems a bit odd that he doesn't answer though, given his behavior. The ball's in his court, not really much else you can do but hope he comes to the party or eventually decides to answer.
