I met a girl on a dating site and we seemed to hit it off pretty well. We messaged each other every day for a week and a half, and I asked her out. She said she was too busy, but could go with me in a few weeks. All right, I thought. She works full time and takes a class, so she is legitimately busy. Then boom. No messages for three weeks. I messaged her asking if she still remembered her agreement to go out with me, or if she still wanted to. No response at all. I honestly just wish she would tell me the truth. This isn't the first time this has happened either. Sure, I hate rejection, but it at least lets me move on.

I hear ya, sadly that's just the nature of dating sites. General anonymity gives people the luxury to be more impartial than they would in person. Also, with the gender ratio being so imbalanced it's pretty safe to say that as guys, we're just one of many suitors vying for attention at any given time. With that said, sounds like she put ya on the back burner and explored other opportunities. She then either forgot about you or decided it was easier to let you down by not replying. I'm with you on preferring a straight up rejection over plain disregard. To me, giving closure to someone you already have an open dialog with is just common decency. When I tried my hand at online dating I made sure to give everyone at least that respect.

This I have experienced several times. The least they can do is letting you know that they are no longer interested and why. That I why I don’t believe anymore in dating sites for finding someone who is really interested.

As a girl using online dating, I used to message everyone back or message people when I wasn't available or interested anymore. But seriously, you would not believe the amount of abuse you get from that. Just not answering is easier.

Instead of getting really invested in talking to this person or that person to arrange a date could messaging a number of girls at the same time help take the edge off a bit?

I've done that. She was just the only one who responded with something besides "sorry, not interested." At least with those girls they were honest with me.

Good news! She was sick this week and wasn't on. She said she still wants to meet.

That's cool, as long as it isn't more dodging. /cynical

Super cool

It was yesterday. The date went well. We both agreed to a second one.

Scratch that. She just wants to be friends now.

Welcome to the club.

Whatever you do, don't do it, "friend" is another word for one of two things she has in mind for you. One being a guy that she can slowly cut communication with until she doesnt talk to you anymore (so she maintains power while not feeling bad about it), or she leads you on and use you for male specific roles like physical labor and dinner-purchaser (she still maintains control, and still doesnt feel bad about it) cut off all communication and do your best to forget she even exists, you end it quickly and ruthlessly on your own term, not hers.

Ive never been in a friend zone, but i feel this is good advice. probably more so with the second scenario. even if she wanted to be friends would you really want to deal with the pain of liking her (and maybe even her possibly becoming a oneitis) and getting zero emotional response.

this is why i am afraid of talking to girl. sometimes i find one and i really like them. the more i talk, the more i like, the more comfortable i get around them, the more i lay alone at night either in misery or on the verge of passing out with chemical help.

My first post...

It's very unfortunate that things turned out that way, especially as you managed to land the date, but I definitely agree that the "let's just be friends" line should be a permanent cut-off point. I wouldn't even dignify it with a response.