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PostPosted: 21 May 2012, 13:49 
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DAY 1 GOALS HAVE BEEN REVISED! (what do you guys think of the advanced, intermediate, and rookie levels? I know it kinda sounds like a video game, lol)

DAY 1

ADVANCED: Goal: Approach one attractive woman and have a short conversation about anything.
If you can't think of anything to say, talk about the weather, a recent news event, a sports game, anything! The conversation needn't be long. If you talk for less than a minute, then it's ok.

INTERMEDIATE: Goal: Offer two random women compliments.
You can offer a compliment on their style, their sunglasses, their hair, their good posture, their purse, basically anything!
EX: "Hi there, you look like you're having a great day, you have a nice smile!"

ROOKIE: Goal: Walk by three separate women, make eye contact, and smile.

Day 2

Goal: Approach one attractive woman, have a short conversation, and offer her a genuine compliment.
Compliment her if she's well spoken or sounds intelligent, or if she exhibits some other good quality.

Day 3

Goal: Approach two separate attractive women, and have a short conversation with both of them.

Day 4

Goal: Approach one attractive woman, and talk with her for at least 5 minutes.
Wear a watch if you need to time yourself. If you run out of things to say just stick with it and say whatever comes to kind.

Day 5

Goal: Approach one atractive woman, introduce yourself, shake hands, compliment her, and talk with her for at least 5 minutes.

---------------------------------------------------------------

I got the idea for this challenge after finding this on another forum:

Quote:
Solution for ending social anxiety (yes, this does actually work):

1. Every time you pass someone on the street or in a store, say "hello", "how are you doing", "hows it going", etc. Make this a habit. You should do this to about 20-25 people every day. Just say "hello" and smile, that's all you have to do. After doing this for about a week or two move on to step two.

2. Every time you pass someone on the street or in a store, make eye contact, hold eye contact, and say hello. Again, make this a habit! Every person you pass you should always say hello to. And remember to maintain eye contact through the conversation. It's ok to look away occasionally but don't talk to the wall or the ceiling! Do this to about 20-25 people every day for a whole week. (that's 150+ people in one week!)

*Maintain eye contact and smile

3. After completing the first two steps in roughly 2 weeks time, you will now begin to approach people to make conversation. Every time you're near a stranger you will say hello, then you will make small talk. Talk about the weather, talk about sports, current news events, anything that comes to mind. Sometimes people will not respond because they may not be in the mood to talk, but that's ok. Always try to keep the conversation positive and upbeat. No one likes depressing or negative conversations. Make small talk with at least 10 strangers per day, while also saying hello to EVERY person you pass on the street, in stores, at your workplace, etc. Remember to maintain eye contact! Do this for a whole week. (that's 70 people to make small talk with in one week)

4. For week 4 you will repeat step 3, except this time you will give a compliment to every stranger you make small talk with. The compliment must not be some generic compliment (like you're beautiful, you have pretty eyes, etc.). If the stranger seems well educated on a subject, then you can compliment them on that. If the stranger radiates positive energy, then you can give them a compliment on that. (That's 70 people to give compliments to in one whole week - 10 per day)

5. For week 5 you will begin to engage in deeper conversation. Throughout this entire process you should continuously be saying "hi" to every person you pass by on the street or in buildings and also engaging in small talk when time permits. For this week you will approach 70 strangers (or brief acquaintances) and make small talk. While engaging in small talk, you will try to make a deeper connection with that person by trying to understand them on a personal level. To understand a person, one thing we don't want to do is to ask a set series of generic questions. This would come off as an interrogation, not a nice conversation. So instead we can ask questions that sound like statements.

Let's say you're talking to a guy that kinda looks like a surfer and you want to figure out where he's from. You can say, "So you're a Californian, right? I'm getting kind of a surfer vibe from you." He'll respond and say yes or no and then he'll tell you where he's from. The difference here is that you didn't ask a generic question, "So where are you from?" Instead you made a statement/assumption about the person that allowed the conversation to flow more smoothly, while also attaining information that you desired. Making friendly statements/assumptions about people shows that you're actually paying attention to them.

Here's another example:
-Generic question: "How old are you?"
-Friendly statement: "You seem wise beyond your years, I know you can't be older than me, I'm only 37 but you look a lot younger!"

Try to refrain from overusing generic questions.
Police officers and CIA interrogators ask generic questions, and you don't want to come off like they do.

You can take two weeks for this step if necessary. The more practice the better. Over time you will become a natural conversationalist.
(Approach 70 strangers over a weeks time and connect with them by asking questions that are disguised as statements, assumptions, or compliments)

http://lunaticoutpost.com/Topic-Social- ... ks?page=10


Last edited by Hopeless_Romantic on 21 May 2012, 23:03, edited 2 times in total.

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PostPosted: 21 May 2012, 15:51 
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Good luck! Post updates in this thread: I'll be following it.


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PostPosted: 21 May 2012, 20:40 
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sounds fine, if the first step weren't 20 foot high.

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PostPosted: 21 May 2012, 21:49 
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Sounds interesting, I look forward to seeing how it turns out. Why do they all have to be attractive women, though?


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PostPosted: 21 May 2012, 22:18 
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Great strategy.... except for the reliance on the presence of attractive women (about six more than I ever see in a typical week here). And then there is the assumption of some physical locale in which both of us would be in order to do said approaching... Sadly, some of us live out in BFE.

If you live where there are a plethera of them, however... then by all means great strategy!

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PostPosted: 21 May 2012, 22:52 
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Fonduman wrote:
sounds fine, if the first step weren't 20 foot high.


Did you see that post I quoted from another forum below it? Those tasks are a little easier and more simple, like the "saying hello to everyone you pass by". I would try them out first if my goals seem too daunting. I might revise my goals to include more options, so everyone can participate no matter what social experience they have.

UPDATE:

Thus far I haven't actually completed my day 1 goals yet, but I have made progress.
I held open a door for a young lady in a black dress, and as she walked by I complimented her with "that's a beautiful dress", she looked back, cracked a smile and said thanks. It all happened so fast that I really didn't have time to get nervous, which was a surprise to me. But after it happened I felt my heart kinda racing. Pretty cool! This is the first compliment i've given to a total stranger in a very long time. It wasn't a conversation or anything but I am quite proud of it. I still got 2-3 hours left of day time, so I'll probably walk my dog and hope I run into a woman to talk with. If not oh well, always another day!


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PostPosted: 21 May 2012, 22:56 
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Hopeless_Romantic wrote:
Fonduman wrote:
sounds fine, if the first step weren't 20 foot high.


Did you see that post I quoted from another forum below it? Those tasks are a little easier and more simple, like the "saying hello to everyone you pass by". I would try them out first if my goals seem too daunting. I might revise my goals to include more options, so everyone can participate no matter what social experience they have.

UPDATE:

Thus far I haven't actually completed my day 1 goals yet, but I have made progress.
I held open a door for a young lady in a black dress, and as she walked by I complimented her with "that's a beautiful dress", she looked back, cracked a smile and said thanks. It all happened so fast that I really didn't have time to get nervous, which was a surprise to me. But after it happened I felt my heart kinda racing. Pretty cool! This is the first compliment i've given to a total stranger in a very long time. It wasn't a conversation or anything but I am quite proud of it. I still got 2-3 hours left of day time, so I'll probably walk my dog and hope I run into a woman to talk with. If not oh well, always another day!


so the solution is 15foot high steps?

still almost 9 feet higher than I am :lol:
i don't think you really understand how severe LS can be.
i think a reasonable, but difficult, goal for me to start off with would be to make eye contact with one girl you don't know per day. and i'd struggle with that. wouldn't count for actual conversations with them of course, would have to be as they're walking along with no association with you.

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PostPosted: 21 May 2012, 23:07 
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Fonduman wrote:
so the solution is 15foot high steps?

still almost 9 feet higher than I am :lol:
i don't think you really understand how severe LS can be.
i think a reasonable, but difficult, goal for me to start off with would be to make eye contact with one girl you don't know per day. and i'd struggle with that. wouldn't count for actual conversations with them of course, would have to be as they're walking along with no association with you.


:rofl: Yea, I went ahead and revised the day 1 goals.
Tell me what you guys think about having an advanced, intermediate, and rookie level.

I might just put the challenge on hold for the moment and come up with a full 30 day challenge that includes a full month's worth of goals for each of the three levels. That way when one completes the rookie goals, he can go on to intermediate, then advanced. Does this sound like a good idea?

Feel free to offer any suggestions for goals.


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PostPosted: 22 May 2012, 08:11 
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I like it, save for the time constraints. This is some advanced shit though. I'd say stuff like this falls around step 24 in a 30 step program.

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PostPosted: 23 May 2012, 01:07 
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Now he brings in the "competition" changing the rules, uping the ante......

spoken like a PUA in training.

Look, I was in the checkout line today at the local market in my hip neighborhood. I said hello to the checkout gal. Eye contact, smiled......

her reply: "Ummm Hi." (the smelling onions snarl almost creeping in on her upper lip)

She gave me my change and as I am heding out, dude behind me says THE EXACT SMAE THING, and she starts chatting with him like they have BFF's for decades......

You are born with it, or you're just standing there singing radio jingles.

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PostPosted: 23 May 2012, 13:23 
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gmartinfan wrote:
Now he brings in the "competition" changing the rules, uping the ante......

spoken like a PUA in training.


No, I wanted to adjust the challenge so everyone here could participate because the original goals I made were too difficult, even for myself because I haven't completed it yet. This isn't intended to be a "competition", i.e. no one is competing against anyone. It will be a challenge, so we can challenge our fears, step by step, to overcome them.

At the moment I'm busy, but I will work on developing a 3 month long challenge that starts out real slow and easy, and then slowly progresses step by step. It will be intended to help overcome social phobia/anxiety and love shyness. It will take me a lot of time to put it together though, but feel free to offer any suggestions.


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PostPosted: 25 May 2012, 22:23 
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UPDATE: I completed my first goal: have a conversation with an attractive woman!

A user on another internet forum had told me to do a warm up exercise before approaching women. Basically, you start out just saying hello to random strangers you pass by for about 10 minutes. Then the next 10 minutes you say hello to random people and then add a statement or compliment. (like "Hello, beautiful day aint it?") The next 10 minutes you try to have a short conversation with a random person/s. After that, you'll be socially warmed up and can go approach a woman.

I can tell you that it worked for me today. It didn't take away all the anxiousness but it took away enough of it so I could at least have a decent conversation. After doing the warm up exercise, I wandered around the art building on my college campus and saw a nice looking girl, so I asked her for directions. I wasn't actually lost or anything but I needed something to say. After she pointed the way, I gave her a compliment on the dress she was wearing, it was a very classy flowery looking dress. "oh thanks" she replied. I then asked her if she was an art student, she said she was in graphic design. We talked for two minutes or so about our majors before my nerves started getting to me. I ended with a somewhat disappointing "well it was nice meeting you, have a good day!"
To me it all felt kinda stiff and overly formal on my part, like i was giving an interview or something. But dammit I am just glad i managed to push through it.

That social warm up exercise is something I plan to do very often, any chance I get. It's like it creates a sort of social momentum that pushes you. On my walk home, I was saying hello to almost everyone that passed by me, it doesn't feel as awkward as it used to.


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PostPosted: 25 May 2012, 22:40 
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can't believe this guy..............

do you HONESTLY think that everyone who is LS/ Incel sits at home in a dark corner and NEVER says a word to anyone??????????

I talk to people DAILY. At work, at church, at Scouts and when I DO happen to make a conversation with a woman (like you did at your college) she answers me in the SAME WAY. It's called being polite. Women DO talk to us.

You make it sound like we haven't ever TRIED anything.

Your rules or conditions, or guidelines, or whatever you are 'calling' them read straight out of a PUA manual.

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PostPosted: 25 May 2012, 23:53 
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gmartinfan wrote:
can't believe this guy..............

do you HONESTLY think that everyone who is LS/ Incel sits at home in a dark corner and NEVER says a word to anyone??????????

I talk to people DAILY. At work, at church, at Scouts and when I DO happen to make a conversation with a woman (like you did at your college) she answers me in the SAME WAY. It's called being polite. Women DO talk to us.

You make it sound like we haven't ever TRIED anything.

I know how it sounds, but there really are guys for who talking to random people is stressful and intimidating, and for those people it's best to start with the basics and work their way up. All things considered, this thread is one of the least PUA-ish and most realistic things that Hopeless_Romantic has posted.


Last edited by Small Pink Blob on 25 May 2012, 23:55, edited 1 time in total.

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PostPosted: 25 May 2012, 23:54 
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Fair enough Small Pink Blob, but I don't like this hammering of the topic on my head and the angry pulse beating on my brain everytime I read a thread like this ;-)

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