Thought I might be able to add some actual, helpful, specific content about what girls want in online dating.

Lesson one: Building a profile.

Photos:
Having no photos means no real chance of responses.

Have more than one.

A nice, clear photo of your face is a good start. Every profile should have at least one of these. Yes, even if you're one of these pathological blokes who think you're the ugliest guy on earth.

Another nice addition is to have a photo showing something about yourself. You travel? A picture of you in Egypt. You read? A picture of you reading something clever. You have a pet? You should totally include a photo of yourself with a pet. Chicks dig that.

I've also found that I gravitate to photos that stand out a bit, especially cute ones are pretty great. I went out with a guy whose photo was him wrestling with a giant stuffed ostrich and always seemed to focus on his messages first as there was a picture of a dude wrestling an ostrich next to them.

Pick something that in some way reflects who you are in content or tone. You're a serious dude? Black and white. You're fun? Something bright and fun. Don't try to represent yourself as something you're not.

Random examples

Yes:




No:





If you want to preview a photo, try pasting it on facebook first, asking your friends what they think.

Content

Just listing what you like and what you want is old news. You've got to sell yourself a little, give readers hooks on which to identify with you and develop interest.

If I was to write a profile today, I would want to avoid a list of my wants and traits. Writing:

American girl in her late 20s seeks funny, intellectual guy. Interests include modern literature, cider, travel and sleeping late on weekends.

Would be super lame. Flesh it out a bit and build a narrative.

Lost in a storm of confusing tube stops and unfamiliar accents, a lone American seeks guidance and companionship. I'm just far along enough into my 20s to want to be vague about it and hoping for a partner in crime of around the same age. I do (and you should) love really pretentious modern literature, ideally paired with cheap cider. I'm naturally interested in animals, being both a travel rat on my vacations and a proverbial sloth on sunny Sunday mornings. Please contact if you: enjoy arguing about whether or not manned space flight is a worthy investment, can tell smutty jokes without seeming brash or are the owner of a sexy smile/pair of glasses/sense of humor.

Still the same content but easier to read.

Online Dating Bootcamp, honest version.

Height: make sure you put down 180cm or higher.

Income: make sure you put down a figure that is higher than the national average.

Photo: Make sure your face is good looking, use a better looking man's picture if you have to.

Bio: Claim to be a CEO with powerful political connections.


Prepare to go from 0 messages or replies a week to 400.

Grinsweeper's Online Dating Guide:

If you have big muscles, show some pictures of your muscles.

If you have a big dick, show some pictures of your dick.

If all you have is a big mouth, join LS.com and spend your Saturday nights debating with your fellow incels.

Contact

Look for someone who actually lists the same sorts of interested you're into and seems to be describing someone like you in what they're looking for.

Shy guys, look for keywords like: stable, good listener, cuddly, intelligent, sweet, patient

If you're on a site that has quizzes (I cannot recommend Ok Cupid enough for this) take the quizzes and look at the people they match you up with. Don't lie, trying to game the scores to what you think women are looking for. That's weak.

...

Ok, so you've found someone's profile, you're interested and you think it's a pretty cool match. Send her a message.

But PLEASE don't...

-Send her an obviously cut and pasted message you've sent to everyone else.
"hey saw your profile seem pretty cool my names Mike seeing if you want to chat sometime?where abouts are you from "

-Send a message with no content to speak of
"may I say Hello princess : ) "

-Send something that makes you look illiterate
"u r looking gracefull."

Instead, try and send a message that builds on your profile and asks about hers. You like dogs, she likes dogs...
"Ah, another dog lover! One of the same breed, so to speak. I've been dying to get a lab to go running with but my apartment is so small. I may have to break down and get a yorkie to fill the void in my puploving life..."

And add questions, so she has something to respond to
"...Do you have one already? What sort?...

And maybe a casual,easy compliment
All the pretty girls I know seem to have little dogs these days. Yourself as well?

I would suggest avoiding trying to make a date or push for too much information from here. Here in the initial contact all you really want to do is put yourself out there and see if she's interested. If she is, proceed to the next step, if not, go message someone else.

I would really suggest doing neither of these things*. Shirtless photos without context always look creepy and vain. If you really want to sneak it onto your profile, a picture of you at the beach with friends is probably your best bet.

Never use cockshots. We're way, way less impressed by pictures of your penis than you might think.

*unless this is a gay dating profile, in which case both of these are probably good ideas

Finally, some detailed, specific, useful advice. Moved & stickied. Keep it up!

I had a profile that CW said was one of the best she'd ever read. she also said I was cute and would have definitely messaged me if she was near me. funny how I havent gotten a message in months, and that these girls that claim you are a good catch happen to always have a reason to avoid you. I call BS on the whole idea of trying to improve your profile content and display yourself as interesting. the one concrete thing that has worked for me in online dating was having good looks, and it didnt even work for me.

Let's say for the sake of argument that everything exxie said is true....why the hell should I have to jump through hoops just to get a girl? "Oh don't do this...that turns girls off. Oh don't do that either...it turns girls off. Do this, but don't do it too much...that'll turn us off, but you better do it just enough. And do this, but you have to do it a certain way."

I couldn't possibly deal with a woman like this in a relationship.

Well, there are lots of equivalent dealbreakers for men:

You know the uber-entitled profiles that are all like "I want a man who is very faithful but doesn't get jealous when I flirt with my male friends"?

Or the awfully boring ones like "i liek to go out and chill msg me xoxo"?

Or the aggressive ones like "I'm a strong independent woman, don't message me if you can't handle that"?

Don't those turn you off?

Yeah, I know they get messages anyway just because they're girls, but still, quality matters more than quantity. Relationships themselves are full of similar boundaries and limits and hoops and pet peeves; as long as you get enough love/affection/entertainment in exchange, you won't mind.

I don't see this advice as jumping through hoops. It's kinda like the advice you'd get when applying for a job ie. how to contact the employer, filling out a CV etc. You do this all in order to get an interview (date). It is basically presenting yourself as the best possible person you can be, not whether or not you can impress any girls. Jumping through hoops is more like saying 'Take me out to dinner and I'll kiss you. Buy me diamond earrings and I'll have sex with you.'

believe me we as ls and shy guys tried everything she mentioned in her post, online dating is not for shy guys. It fucking serves to boost female ego nothing more. BTW that is funny she said no shirtless photo, but sent interesting messages, as far as I know did not rossini got some messages with his shirtless photo and I havent seen that messages related to profiles really worked anyone near me.

And then he was complaining about getting horny girls instead of real relationships.

This is absolutely NOT true, at least in my country.

Dating is not for shy guys, neither online or IRL. . So my advice is - cure your LS before considering dating as it should be, in his real meaning. The problem is - LS could be cured by practice/experience - dating trials ... but it is not very difficult.

Boys, guys, gentlemen - the advices from _exxie_ are not total bullshit BUT the idea that someone must fake more or less his own personality to draw attention, or in other words to describe in a attractive manner his personality modifying it ... on a dating site profile - could be a good or bad idea depending on the goal of his online dating participation. It works for 'players' , cheaters. And i would not recommend it for LS or even incels who don't want to behave in false. The other aspect is that "YOU' should behave somewhat adequately - in terms of pictures, text of the profile, messages content, the way you communicate - but these very important details are linked to LS and personal experience/inexperience.

So first you need to get experience, practice.

What if you can get this experience by faking?

The thing about faking is that it all comes down to a personal decision of whether the ends justify the means.