Farthest you've gotten with girl you have oneitis for

metalized · **Posted:** 08 Nov 2010, 05:40

Never done anything with a girl i loved or love

Adam82 · **Posted:** 11 Nov 2010, 11:09

I've never done anything remotely sexual with any girl I've liked or loved. I've held hands, and hugged, though.

metalized · **Posted:** 14 Nov 2010, 01:33

I have a problem with expressing myself to pretty girls the most (that is to initialize a conversation). If she is pretty i asoume right away that she is too hard to talk to or get to know (most are coincided in my home town so even worst).

The worst part is that if by so chance u get to know a girl u think is attractive etc then i usually start to drift away when i see her: Why do i do that? Not because i am arrogant but because i am FOR REAL SHY (no booze)

Because if she likes u then its ur job to start the game and play to get her.

I have a hard time being an asshole (girls like it) only when i am drunk i can do it and through it i don`t like rejection so i drift even farther.

My lack of social skills with attractive girls is something i show straight away and i simply can`t get by it

Girls also don`t like guys that have bad social skills

metalized · **Posted:** 14 Nov 2010, 01:38

thelckysvns wrote:

Ninety minutes with her to myself. Before you jump to any conclusions, what I mean is that I got to have a ninety minute conversation with her one-on-one, nothing more. She was a waitress, who I was smitten for almost as soon as I locked eyes with her. As you can imagine, I started visiting the restaurant where she worked rather often from then on (maybe 3-4 times a month; though I should note, the food was good too, it's close, and the prices were awesome! It's not like I was just going to see some girl). At first, I would just make eye contact with her and smile, and she would smile back. Soon, she'd start to have short conversations with me whenever I came in; nothing too serious, just friendly stuff. I was convinced she liked me though, so ... eventually I worked up the courage to ask for her e-mail address. Outright rejection. Very painful. But ... we continued to talk friendlily whenever I went in there. Couple months later, I gathered the courage to straight up ask her out when she said she had no plans. Again, rejection.

I kept going, though, and we kept having conversations occasionally, and on one particularly notable day it was just me and her in the restaurant for the greater part of two hours (about ninety minutes total). I sat next to her, and actually did manage to make her laugh and smile a lot that day (and she even said she had fun with me afterwards!), but ... by this point I'd been going to the restaurant for a good eight months. Whatever ship had been there, it had already sailed.

Kinda gave up on her after that. I still go there from time to time though, and for reasons I'm still not entirely sure of, she's outright cold towards me these days. No smiles, no friendly conversation, actively avoiding me whenever she can. And when I do try and talk she'll just blow me off. The restaurant is close to where I work, and some of my coworkers knew about my crush, so it's possible one of them said something (what, I have no way of knowing), but actually, I'm kind of glad. When she was friendly and kind it was hard to hate her, and easy to fool myself into thinking she liked me. Now she scarcely leaves room for doubt.

Yep, I was an idiot. I'd like to think I've moved on though. And these days I just say, "Whatever, at least she was good practice," and I've continued on with my long-term goal of becoming a better person, getting better with women and (eventually) getting a long-term partner. Thankfully, my coworkers have been helping me out recently in this regard; they decided to set me up with a girl from work, and we've been going out recently. I dunno where things are gonna go with her, but at least it takes my mind off one-itis girl.

You already are a good preson. Better than me...U Where even friendly after she rejected u more than once.

I couldn`t handle a rejection. Infact i can`t handle rejection well at all. That is why i prefer to stay to myself most often.

oncebitten55 · **Posted:** 26 Dec 2010, 09:09

LikeDylanInTheMovies wrote:

Just what the title says. How far have you gotten with that elusive girl? I don't mean have you slept with her or kissed her, but smaller things. Have you spoken to her? Made eye contact with her? Admitted to family or friends that you have a crush? Or are you just an admirer from afar?

Nowhere. When I have oneitis, the woman
becomes untouchable and I go into avoidant mode.

Just looking at her when I can almost hurts to
do so, but it makes me glad when I do, all at
the same time. I never tell anyone about her ever.

She becomes an angel I can never touch or speak to.

mrping · **Posted:** 26 Dec 2010, 10:00

different stories for different girls..

for idk i'd say about 80% of my oneitis' i just look and obsess and imagine what it would be like.

for one i sent some messages over myspace (was a while ago) attempted small talk with her in class from time to time. but never asked out. still contemplating it though.

this other one is difficult for me because i know her family, and they are friends with my family so it just seems to add awkwardness points to the situation. i've talked to her before been a while though. known her for most of my life actually but never really known her.

for 3 i've managed to ask them out and been rejected.

for one i became very good friends with her, thought i detected an interest at one point but i got scared shitless, had no idea what to do and the moment passed... still see her from time to time i wouldnt say im exactly in the friendzone (at least not anymore) i fought my way out of there. But im not any closer to having a chance with her. shes not a constant oneitis anymore though. From time to time when i talk to her my mind will start to fall into the trap but i recognize it now.

i dont get oneitis cases much anymore i've done quite well in trying to kick the habit.. but in a way i sort of miss it really. it gave me focus, a thought to dwell on and ponder. And even motivation to approach.

on a sort of related note, i have a song for every oneitis girl. I would make it their song and listen to it all the time when i would think about them. I can even match the song to the girls name. Does anyone else do anything like that?

oncebitten55 · **Posted:** 26 Dec 2010, 10:28

metalized wrote:

Never done anything with a girl i loved or love

Me nieghter. I can't get close to a woman who
I have strong feelings for. Oneitis as always
Even if she seems like she likes me. Man this
Disorder sucks.

Adam82 · **Posted:** 27 Dec 2010, 08:07

Oneitis can drive a man mad. :facepalm:

oncebitten55 · **Posted:** 27 Dec 2010, 08:51

Adam82 wrote:

Oneitis can drive a man mad. :facepalm:

Truer words were never written.

Sometimes I really wish I could just die and be done with it, but I ain't that lucky.

oncebitten55 · **Posted:** 08 Jan 2011, 14:27

Adam82 wrote:

Oneitis can drive a man mad. :facepalm:

You ain't shitting about that !!!

Erebus · **Posted:** 08 Jan 2011, 15:11

oncebitten55 wrote:

Adam82 wrote:

Oneitis can drive a man mad. :facepalm:

You ain't shitting about that !!!

Oncebitten55, is your oneitis completely unapproachable (married)?

A.J. · **Posted:** 08 Jan 2011, 16:33

Before my wife, I had strong affection to only one girl: we had a couple of friendly dates; on a concert in a pub I tried some close touching with her, I had a crazy idea to kiss her upper arm while dancing... :facepalm:

I got reprimanded slightly... and was totally nice boy the during the rest of evening (to add a spice to a story: her younger sister was there too...).

The day tomorrow I spent half of a day thinking what to do... I arranged a meeting by phone, bought flowers, apologized, explained myself blaming the whole incident on being little drunk(*), and finally: revealed my feelings towards her... to got friendzoned -- she told she does not want anyone right now

Thats not the end: after I month or so she called me for a "friend" date like we had before... I went there, had some of our usual chit-chat... but the inside soul pain was terrible...

Now that's really the end: I located her on FB recently, made contact and rummaged her photos and posts there... not a sign of any current or past relationship, one post hinting she's still looking for Mr Perfect.

A.J.

(*) Two pints... way to little to get me really drunk

Adam82 · **Posted:** 08 Jan 2011, 23:28

mrping wrote:

on a sort of related note, i have a song for every oneitis girl. I would make it their song and listen to it all the time when i would think about them. I can even match the song to the girls name. Does anyone else do anything like that?

I do this too. A particular song for a particular girl. I thought it was just me.

Adam82 · **Posted:** 08 Jan 2011, 23:37

metalized wrote:

You already are a good preson. Better than me...U Where even friendly after she rejected u more than once.

I couldn`t handle a rejection. Infact i can`t handle rejection well at all. That is why i prefer to stay to myself most often.[/b]

I remain on friendly terms with my oneitis now, several months after the rejection. But inside I'm dying, man. In the past, I wasn't so nice. If a girl rejected me, i'd get quite angry. But now I'm older, and it isn't mature to get abrasive with them. I am still friends with this girl, but is it awkward now? Hell yes. We still chat sometimes via email. And I see her around at work (we work on a temp basis, so I don't see her every month).

I don't take rejection very well at all. In fact, this one was the final straw. When a friend rejects you, it hurts so much more. I couldn't take another.

oncebitten55 · **Posted:** 09 Jan 2011, 06:49

Erebus wrote:

oncebitten55 wrote:

Adam82 wrote:

Oneitis can drive a man mad. :facepalm:

You ain't shitting about that !!!

Oncebitten55, is your oneitis completely unapproachable (married)?

No she is either unmarried or divorced with a nice little daughter about 10. She belongs to the AA group I go to. She is tall, dark blond with long hair and brown eyes.

She is 47 and I am 55. Every time I see her I cant hold her gaze for long, but I sneak glances when I can.

But I cant not not look at her when she is not looking in my direction. I did manage to give her a smile one time as she was leaving and she smiled back. I was about ready to die right there.

She doesn't even have a boyfriend from what I can tell. Some new member made a dumb comment about her butt one time and I told him to shut the fuck up.

Yeah she has a nice body, but oneiltis is illogical and she is not the most pretty of women that I have seen, but in my eyes I'd give anything to approach her and talk to her like a normal man. I think about her all the time.

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