I think in this case online dating can potentially be a fantastic thing. Talking to someone online at least helps remove some initial barriers you have due to shyness.

Well, I'm shy online too. What do I do?

That might be true if you looked like a bum and approached a stranger at random, but it's not necessarily true for every circumstance throughout your life.

I am quite close to as low status of a man as is possible. I have never had a job do to disabilities of various kinds, mentally am quite "differently abled" so to speak, physically sick to the point I can't speak or eat. I mean, I'm what nearly every woman doesn't want when they make a list and then a bit more added after that.

But... Well, Sputnik could do 10, 100, 1000 times better as far as the things on the "list" go, but I believe her when she says she really wants to try with me over other guys, if that would be possible.

So yeah, it's very possible I'll end up spending my life alone in the physical sense given my situation. Probably likely. But it's not necessarily an impossibility for a woman to find me very interesting or attractive for all of the other reasons, that don't usually go on a list.

And really, in some ways some of you guys have got stuff I can't offer to add to that. I mean, you've got your voices to speak with, you've got your food you can eat, and many here have jobs and money, and all of that. But if someone could possibly be interested in someone like me, then why not you? You guys deserve it.

I mean if I had the money, then immigration and all of that stuff would be possibilities. It's just, I don't have that stuff. I'm not good at that kind of thing and now I'm sick, and I can't talk anymore. It's really sad, but I mean it's just the way it is.

I just really want the best for you guys, I know how much it hurts to be alone. I remember feeling incredibly sad, before I met Sputnik, like it seemed like a literal impossibility for anyone to ever love me. But while I'm still alone in most ways, and there is still pain to go with that, I don't feel that way anymore and it is so much less painful to know now.

Even if things never work out between us (they probably won't, I have to be honest, look at the situation), I'm very convinced in her intentions, and she has given me happiness, I can carry throughout the rest of my life, just knowing someone, somewhere really cared so much about me that way.

You people all deserve it. I just don't want you to suffer that pain anymore. I know it. I know that pain and it's wonderful to be free of it even if I can't have everything I'd want in life.

I meant this sentiment in a general way. I have found, and many other people I have spoken to, that speaking online, at least initially, can be a lot easier than sparking up a conversation with someone face to face. But I am sure that is not the case for every single person out there.

I don't know your situation so I wouldn't want to give advice on not appearing shy online, in case it was found to be patronising. But if you did want to talk about it, I would first ask, in what ways are you shy online?

Generally I don't initiate. I don't know what to say.

Wouldn't work for me, seeing how many men basically belittle me whenever they can. To show shyness is to show weakness. Other people would not allow it.

So your post is basically theoretical.

So, what I've learned from all of this is... when you have a nervous condition like me (all you Asperger sufferers take note too) you are not going to be able to hide it. Forget faking it until you make it. Fortunately, most women will overlook nervous ticks and certain oddities IF they get to know you first and realize you aren't a psycho.

I realized early on that I wasn't going to beat the players at their own game, so I went the opposite direction. I took pride in who I am and even amped it up a bit in my profiles. I wasn't afraid to make fun of myself a little too, but I made no apologies. And I was successful with that I think because many women appreciated my humor and honesty.

I don't think most people go about shaming those who are shy, which is the way it should be. What concerns me with thechak is that he might potentially confuse the positive notion that shy people shouldn't feel ashamed, with the less than positive notion that others should somehow be obligated to form a relationship with them.

From "My plan":

i think it's about how you feel about it not so much letting it out... telling a woman seems counter productive in many aspects IMO. but saying to yourself "I'm LS and i'm proud!", if you will, seems like it would have a positive effect. Embracing the facts about yourself rather than burying them and trying to change one of your most basic emotions seems the better option. Neither are easy to do though... so much social stigma and years of convincing yourself there is something seriously wrong with you will not go quietly into the night.

Any man who is able to become comfortable with who he is will have dramatic success with relationships in all areas of life, IMO.

Maybe the majority of the time, but how many women have you told that to? Don't you think it's a bit rash to dismiss the entire female population on personal experience?