Well I'm from the South:
1: No one walks around much except late at night.
2: You are hard pressed to find a sidewalk unlike in Europe.
3: Everyone smokes something here except me.
4: There is Europe fat and America fat. It is like comparing a fat grape to a fat watermelon.
5: Get out of New York, Dallas, and L.A. and people have real books everywhere. You'd think I lived in a library if you saw my room.
6: There is no such thing as fast internet out in the country. Fiber optic is like Gucci to a redneck. I'm lucky to have my cough* monopolized cable connection.
7: Not all people in the South are ignorant bigots stuck in a post colonial microcosm.
8: Expect most Americans to be in a hurry or angry if XYZ is not fast, efficient, and costs less than five dollars. I can apply that to the price of gas, cigs, and service of food.
9: Actually expect most Americans to be angry at you for anything. I stay away from most women because they have the worst attitudes I've ever seen. I've heard women say other women are "bitches." Well, it doesn't take a rocket scientist to see that in action as a man.
10: We do eat too much peanut butter.
11: 'round here, if you ain't got a gun, you ain't American. Seriously, the obsession with guns is out of control. Of course, I'd be first to die in the zombie apocalypse, but not the last man alive saying "ah shit, gotta reload."
12: Our national food is either fast food or pizza. I used to think it was apple pie.
13: Don't expect to find anything older than 50 years old. It'll be burned down, torn down, or left to ruin. Not like Europe with its 500 year old cathedrals.
14: Our past time is shopping.
15: We drink to get drunk.
16: Expect to be in hearing distance of at least 20 dogs.
17: Trash on the side of the road is just a part of the scenery. Don't expect it to be like Germany or Japan.
18: We drive A LOT!
19: Anyone on a motorcycle is (85%) a former airman, at least here next to the military base.
20: The civil war was about state's rights not just slavery. A Yankee told me the other day that "you guys lost the war because you're too nice."
21: Don't expect an entire aisle at the grocery store for cooking oil like in Spain. I was like "wtf, a whole aisle?" when I visited Spain in 2002.
22: Don't expect to find good beer. I don't drink it, but I hear its bad compared to German and other beers.
23: We put ice in our drinks, at least in the south. New Yorkers are obsessed with no ice. Must be those harsh winters.
24: Demographically, we have more minorities. I went to a school that was 51% black, 49% white (back then we had few Asians or Hispanics). Now it is more like 25% for each group.
25: Expect to hear on the radio at least 5 country stations, 3 Christian, 2 hard rock, 1 pop, 1 rap, 1 Norteño, and 0 trance,dance,rave,electronic station. This is why I have to listen to CDs in my car. Sigh.
26: Every third person is driving a truck.
27: Every third person on welfare or uses WIC.
28: HAM radios are stylish. Especially on the back of someone's truck. I ain't kidding either.
29: Don't take the Lord's name in vain or Dale Earnhardt's either.
30: I got accused the other day of being a backwater hick for saying these things: "Zee" instead of "Zed" and "20 cent" instead of "20 cents"
31: For heaven's sakes do not pass a school bus, a cop, or fireman.
32: Expect rubber necking for the smallest fender bender.
33: Street lights and signs are just for show. Same goes for speed limits.
34: Expect to find a soccer mom texting, drinking starbucks, yelling at 10 kids in the minivan, while speeding past you right before the divided highway ends only to break as fast as possible seconds later like the Bipolar person she is and turn into McDonald's.
35: Expect her to be riding on an under-inflated tire.
36: Expect gravy on everything.
37: Expect salty food to come with extra packets of salt.
38: In Texas expect to be handed a towel instead of a napkin.
39: It's brisket there, and unless you want to be guillotined, do not ask for any kind of sauce with the steak.
40: No Texan lives without air conditioning. You'd know why if you stepped off the plane at Houston to get to the taxi.
41: Expect mosquitoes the size of butterflies.
42: In Florida they call 'em "no see ums."
43: This is America not "the states."
44: Expect most people to be monolingual.
45: Fashion works like this: California first, East Coast last.
46: We buy from China just like every other indentured servant.
47: Yes, our tea sucks. Unless of course you like it really reallllllly sweet.
48: Did I mention diabetes and kidney stones?
49: Expect anything metal like entire railroads to be stolen in the night and sold for money at the metal dump.
50: Don't wave at people anywhere except the South.
51: Expect to come to intersections with four identically looking and almost similarly named Lutheran churches.
52: In fact expect a church, a Walgreens, and a bar on most corners.
53: Faggots are homosexuals not sticks.
54: There is English and American confusion over what are Crackers and biscuits. The same goes for chips, cookies, and sleeping policemen.
55: Even a one eyed, shit for brains, overweight, quadriplegic can have a wife and 20 children. It's not about looks around here. Hell, if I know what it is.
56: Expect at least every other stop sign to be hidden in bushes, covered in graffiti, or to be the victim of a hit and run.
57: Did I mention rolling stops?
58: Did I mention I have major road rage? *See soccer moms.
59: Expect to pay 10 dollars for a movie and 20 for the snacks.
60: If you read this far, sign your name at the top and turn it in to get your Harvard degree.
61. In the South, you can't eat a salad, or much of anything, without some kind of meat like ham on it too.