L.S. is a royal pain the ass but our society isn't helping things either. In fact, I think they've turned this whole dating thing into a game some of us just can't win. I've tried several things to try to break out of this rut but nothing works because most (western) women just seem to be in their own little media subsidized fairytale.

I've tried going to nightclubs - The result was meeting flaky women who give out fake phone numbers or simply don't answer the phone/return your calls no matter how much a good time the seemed to be having with you. There is also a specific type of women that I tend to attract but have learned to stay clear of, as they tend to be rather rude and hostile by nature. I've tried to be tolerant of their behavior, only to have them escalate things to an intolerable level (kinda hard to be romantic when they're trash talking/disrespecting you). The other women mostly ignore me.

I've tried being more outgoing in public - This gets their attention (sometimes) but due to extreme approach anxiety I can't seal the deal. I mean how DO you invite yourself into someone else' agenda?

I've tried online dating - There, I met more flaky disappearing women, materialistic women who disappear once they find out I'm not rich, transsexuals, and the morbidly obese. I am neither fat nor ugly and although many may suggest that I simply 'take what I can get', I feel there is no point in pursuing a women you aren't physically attracted to.

I think I've grown as a person and my life is pretty much in order but experience has taught me that many women, despite what they may claim, are openly dismissive of men to the point of being rude. They take a passive approach to the dating/mating process. They're superficial and picky and never seem to be satisfied. They don't answer the phone, text, email, etc. and they don't call you back. If one of them does accept you, they stick around until your money runs out or they find out you aren't as affluent as they originally thought.

Demanding equality while expecting chivalry? Deplorable lack of principles for a group of people who claim they want to live in an equality-based society. Granted, these are generalizations but once again, these are MY experiences with women after trying to break free of love-shyness. Sex and intimacy are powerful motivators but this crap has caused me to question the logic of pursuing someone who's obviously not going to give you the time of day.

What are your thoughts?

I think you hit it out of the park. Good essay!

Of course, I have to throw in the obligatory NAWALT.... but with the understanding that it ultimately doesn't matter if 90% of them aren't like that if the only ones you ever encounter are the 10% that are.

Thanks Loveable,

I agree... Although I suspect the problem is of a larger scale, I will consider that this problem may be inherent of my location. Though I can't really change that now because I bought my house here.

Also, I acknowledge that all women are not like this; hence, generalization.

I had a conversation with my dad about this today; something I never do because his advice is roughly 30 years out of date. I had to inform him that many 40+ couples who divorce/breakup nowadays have issues with getting back in the dating pool. After I broke it down for him, he admitted to noticing the change in women's behavior over the years. I won't go into all the details but the bottom line is this; Equal rights for women have led to men becoming 'obsolete' in terms of their roles in relationships. And since women control 100% of the worlds supply of pussy, men are nothing but a trade-able commodity to them now. At the end of my explanation, he looks at my mom and says "Damn... If I ever had to start over, I'd be pretty much screwed."

I find it highly ironic that everything I've done to improve myself and my life was all for nothing with regard to women. I've played society's little games and I've all but won. It sickens me to know that I have EVERYTHING needed to ensure long and prosperous future... ALONE.

What was the point?

They're not.


(Them)


(Me)

True story.

Lets see...
- Money; Got some. Saved it. Bought a house with it. Paid cash. Never gonna be broke again... Check!
- Power; Meh. I have 'unique abilities' that I refer to collectively as my 'powers'. Power over other human beings? Well, I can hurt them if they're mean to me... Check!
- Social Position; Unnecessary... If knowledge is power, then to be unknown allows you to be unbeatable. Like a stealth missile on crack. Check and Mate!!!

Ehh, it matters not, as very few women can every be truly satisfied.

Click and laugh... (or cry) http://www.robinsweb.com/humor/husbandmart.html

Are they worth it? Sure...a woman of the imagination. Reality? Uhhh, not really. I want a woman who will love me regardless of monetary and social condition. A woman with whom I can talk to for hours and enjoy every word and savor every silent moment as a pause augmenting words to come. A woman with with an imagination like mine who can fantasize everyday with an optimistic view on life. A woman who would find me wonderful, and I her, of course. Sadly, women these days, generally speaking, care only about money, material possessions, and shallow social networking. Romantic? Please. They couldn't think of something romantic if their life depended on it. Instead, should they see a man they might be interested in they are forced to resort to "hints". Trust me, no one can take hints, neither men nor women. Why do they do this? Why do they want the men to ask them out???!!!! Who are the ones with 2000 Facebook friends? Men or women? Who are the ones who are socially inclined?? Men or women? Who are the ones with a huge network of friends? You want a man who is assertive with women? Fine, but when, years down the road when he is unfaithful to you (with porn or other women), don't fret. Afterall, you wanted a man who is assertive with WOMEN. I could go on and on, but I just finished a bench workout...Are women worth it? Yeah, maybe 17 or 18 of them...in the world. None I have met....

James,

Massively awesome post; As pissed as I am, it kinda made my day. With all these women obsessed with texting and facebook, none of them would know true friendship if it bit them in the ass...

Prime example; I was recently talking to a woman who supposedly was good friends with her roommates. She's a lousy driver and I told her "chill out on that aggressive driving. In your current situation, you can't afford to wreck you car". Within 48 hours she had a head on collision after doing something stupid behind the wheel. She lost the ability to go to school, her parents stopped paying for her insurance and refused to fix/replace her car. 3 days later she was complaining to me that her 'friends' (her roommates) were treating her like dirt because she was unable to take them places anymore since she lost her car in the crash.

After hearing her story, I paused. There was a single loud 'clap'. She asked me "What was that noise?"

What she heard was...
[godzillafacepalm][/godzillafacepalm]

"take what you can get"

what if you can't get anyone period? what if there is nothing to take or settle for?

that's what the masses don't realize

Expecting women to be sold on your "powers" seems like a bit of a longshot. Perhaps try channeling your "powers" into things more generally accepted and valued, like social circles that can help support you and extend outwards to include women.

I can't believe you had the audacity to spout this bullshit.

"Spend more time with people and get out more"

As if the OP hasn't heard that same shitty line over and over again throughout his entire adult life.

(Inb4 typical response: "He's just not doing it right.")

If he's telling women about how he has "powers" and not understanding why they're not sold by that, no. He's not doing it right.

You hear that faint whistling in your ear?

It's the sound of my point sailing clear over your head.

Instead of nitpicking at the words he used to describe his "powers" look at the bigger picture and realize he's already tried the social route and it failed him miserably.

If he thinks he has magic powers there may be immediate, concrete reasons he's having problems finding a partner.

You're right. I was probably being a bit vague trying to be a bit diplomatic.

Stop telling people you have magic powers. Check with a kind yet somewhat removed third party to make sure you're not sending out very creepy/unstable/infantile vibes. Sort this out and try again. Or give up.

Or I suppose, specifically seek to meet the kind of women likely to accept that you have powers and be impressed by this? The internet seems a likely way to do this? Anti sceptics websites, psychic chatrooms, conspiracy theory websites?