Hey,

I was going to add this on to my earlier post but as it's already long enough and quite specific I thought I'd post another one (I'm not trying to spam though, this will be my last thread). I'm quite shy, not LS as I have had bfs and will openly tell guys I find them attractive (especially if I have been drinking) but at school I did have crippling shyness - I would run away quite literally from boys I found attractive, and find it very hard to talk to/keep eye contact with men I find attractive. However, I would still rather talk to someone that I don't know very well face to face than on the telephone or through txt. I find that not being able to see someone's reaction makes me very uneasy and I always worry that text will be interpreted wrongly. Also, sometimes when txting a lad that I like (as was the case in my huge story), I often need to be in the company of friends just to hit the send button. I can't eat with worry before or after because I am so sure that I am annoying the person. I just wondered if anyone was more at ease (even if you are still uneasy) with face to face than text? Most people seem to be the other way around.

Also, have any of you ever been too shy to reply to a txt that was sent to you? I haven't done this one.

Texting a date all the time, seems a little too impersonable to me.

Then again, when I was young we used to send up smoke signals, instead.

Text is the easiest way for me to communicate. That being said, I do share your feelings about being annoying through it. I use tones, gestures, and crazy looks a lot when I talk. I say the same things through text, but I don't have that face to face benefit so my point, sarcasm, or "zing" is often missed. I also interpret things incorrectly a lot. I hate not being able to see peoples reactions, but I also love texting people. It gives me a chance to say what I really mean and proofread it before I send it. I often put my foot in my mouth in face to face conversations.

As for not replying due to shyness, no. But I'm a stickler about replying to texts. I hate when mine go unanswered so I make a point to reply to the ones I get even if it's hours or days later.

I love txting but it really affects me badly when it's a guy I'm attracted to who isn't yet anything to me. I guess when I'm in someone's company, over time I begin to feel more at ease with them especially if they're being friendly. Another reason I don't like txting is that I always think I might be interrupting something important, whereas at a party or something you can see if someone is busy or free to talk.

It's funny, but I thought the whole idea of texting was to not have a possibly annoying phone call.

I dont understand why young people text, much more then they talk on the phone, nowadays.

Well, yes, that's true. If I feel like calling someone I usually txt to ask if they are free to talk. I am a funny onion.

Not at all, that seems to be the way most of the under 35 set operates now, in my experience.

No I don't think so. Txting before calling makes sense to me.

When I think about it I'm no more or less shy through text, since I'll generally be interacting with that person face to face very soon afterwards anyway.

No I am the opposite. I feel a lot more comfortable just writing text because I can edit it. I can write it then read it to myself, and then modify it repeatedly until I think it sounds good. I can't do that in a real face to face conversation. But I usually feel really nervous when I click the send button. Just as nervous as I would be if I were talking to someone face to face. But the good thing about text is it's already written. So it makes no difference that I'm nervous when I click the button. But in a real life conversation it makes a lot of difference whether you're nervous or not.
I do feel your pain about phone calls though. Not being able to see people's face and all that. Phone calls are tough for me. I'd actually say I'm more scared of calling someone than talking to them face to face. I can easily go to my local bank and talk to person behind the counter. But calling the same bank on the phone makes me nervous. Weird..

More comfortable with text, in general. With text you can think longer what message you want to convey.

As for talk face to face, depends what the situation is. If it's with people I know or a subject I know lots on, no anxiety really.

The least favored method of communication would be phones for me. I hate talking on the phone. At least with face to face if there's a lull in conversation, body language helps fill it. On the phone it's just awkward. Plus, on the phone, your sort of put on the spot to keep talking. At least with text you can think it through.

So....text would be overall the most comfortable method generally by far for me. In person, like I said, I'm shy and quiet, blending into the background unless I really know the person and trust to open up to them.

But then how can you expect to break out of that shell?

Sooner or later, if you want to meet people, you must talk to them.

I must be showing my age here, quite badly. Oh, well

Not showing your age....I respect your reply, it's a reasonable question.

I must emphasize I'm less shy face to face than I was say 5 years ago. I talk to a few more people now than I did then, but still not a lot. Generally speaking, I'm still shy. I just stated texting and 'talking' on forums is still the easiest way for me to communicate, that is what I meant. When I was a kid (5 to 11) I talked more and spoke my mind more....then something happened. Hormones or puberty, bullying, bad life experiences, not keeping pace with the milestones of my peers caused me to turn inward, communicating less. I hit junior high and it was hell for me socially, not to mention I was living undiagnosed AS. I failed to reach 'milestones' ('going out' with and talking to girls socially in the acceptable way, drinking, smoking, sex) my peers did so I turned inward for fear of more ridicule. I became a loner. Now, as an adult I still have trouble opening up to the masses. I still don't trust them, so to speak.

i hate texting,i hate phones,cell phones,hate instant messaging etc.

so i guess i'm even worse with those things because i want no part of them,there use.