So, I've gotten better in recent months by taking the pressure off myself and loosening up and having fun finally getting out on dates with a variety of women, many of whom I wasn't even seriously attracted to.

But I still FREEZE UP BIG TIME when I see the sweet, lovely girl of my dreams.

Today I was walking through the super market when I saw out of the corner of my eye the most lovely looking young woman. I walked behind her until she turned towards the checkout line. She was mid/late 20s, about 5'6", trim figure, long dark hair in a pony-tail in back with cute bangs coming down over her pretty little face! She was wearing a pretty yellow blouse and a lovely black skirt swaying down just past her knees; an innocent lovely flower in a world of bitches, hood-rats and fuglies. God, I just wanted to be walking hand-in-hand with her so bad right then and there. I was frozen and in a hurry to get something during my brake from work, so I didn't bother to even think of approaching her.

I'm getting better at getting my mind off of these highly desireable women, and opening up to consider some other types, but I'm still afraid to do ANYTHING when I see a dream girl like this. What more can I do to break through this ice? Do I still need to work harder to get my mind off them (i.e. lower my standards and forget about them) or is there another mental view that I'm still missing? I'm trying to see myself better, and that's helping me with the non-dreamgirls, but apparently I've still got a lot of fear and inferiority when I encounter the exact one that I REALLY want.

Every time.

Every. Single. Fucking. Time.

A oneitis, and yes, I do still freeze up near them.

(raises hand timidly)

Yep. This

I think even the master PUAs deal with this to some extent.

That's why they claim its a numbers game and focus on the non-dream girls.

Personally I prefer quality to quantity... but that may be why it's been three years since my last date.

Still, the biggest risk with these type of girls is oneitis. Avoid that and you can work on overcoming this phobia.

pretty much that happens, minus the happy ending. and the 47 seconds of "AHGOO" at the beginning.

Please don't do that; I'm getting weak-kneed just reading this.

I am sure it is a phobia of sorts, and thankfully it doesn't happen very often, for me anyhow.

I don't have oneitise's for every pretty woman I see, else I probably wouldn't be posting here right now.

I don't think I will ever understand why or how it happens, but it comes on the *second* I see "The One".

Mind-boggling and quite painful as well.

I understand. With me, it's not just a "pretty face". Some innate quality seems to draw me in. TM112 I believe claimed hair cut semi-short to shoulder length (sorry, horrible at hair styles) turns him on; it's kind of a cute girl look that cuts the norm (long, flowing or curly hair) but retains the feminine beauty of long smooth hair. Certain girls draw me in; I can look a pretty one in the face and not flinch; it's the one with those certain qualities..............................[faint].................that I find difficult even to sustain direct eye contact. I tried it once with a cute girl with brilliant blue eyes. I nearly cried (thank God I was sitting down or my knees would have given way); I had to turn away: tears were starting to form in my eyes. She had that certain "quality".

Yes, I know precisely what you speak of. That is almost exactly how it is for me too, James_Young.

Its those "certain qualities" that you mention that I am at a loss of words to explain, that are either there,
or they are not. These women do not fit into any particular archetype, and I have had the oneitis condition
for women that did not look similar to one another.

If it *is* there, like you, I cannot hold direct eye contact for very long, if at all. At most, I my be able
to manage to say "Hi", if we happen to pass each other, but that is all. It is not at all possible for me
to converse with them, as with another woman, since the lack of eye contact would preclude that, among
other things.

Thankfully, this has only occurred to me with only a few women, over the years. It seems to be a more
common occurrence with others who post here, and I can't imagine what kind of hell that must be like.

If this condition occurred on a frequent basis, I would probably be held in a mental institution, or the like.

I get weak when I see the woman that I want to be with for the rest of my life. It's like I'm intimidated or "just not ready yet" for that special girl that I really ultimately want. I've been getting better and better with random attractive women; I find that I do well if the girl has some innate characteristic that would have previously made her un-dateable for me. Hell, the woman I'm dating now is 7 years older than me (I used to only want a girl slightly younger than myself) so it's a lot easier for me to cut loose, experiment and just have fun when I go out with her. Buuuut, when I occasionally see a beautiful princess who is single, my age and highly dateable, I totally clam up. I notice that I'm intimidated by women in their 20s and not so much by women in their 30s.

fightforlove, I believe you hit it right on! I haven't seen it this clearly before.

I second this, thinking a girl is all that with out getting to know her is a one way ticket to crazy obsession, I haven't done that in years and I am glade I haven't.

Ehh, you guys are right. I'm just gonna go out tonight with my boys and get hammered ass drunk. Tomorrow I'm going on a date with my sexy 37-year-old, so the hell with these young dream girls for now. I'm going back to ignoring and giving up on them and just playing the numbers game. Maybe it was just all an illusion anyways. Fuck it, I don't really care anymore.