Hypothetical situation.

You are fully recovered love-shy/incel - married or in long-term relationship with nice girlfriend. Your social life becomes more active. However one of your closest friends is clearly suffering from love-shyness/incel (no girlfriend, no romantic prospects on the horizon). Would you try to help him? If so, what would you do to reduce his pain? What can be done?

YES! A resounding yes. I would not devote all my energies, and time but I def would have my eye open to potentail dates / mates.

I would INTRODUCE (when appropritae) him to her (at a party, with a bunch of friends). I would tell him not to give up, but I would also encourge said dude to make himself that 1% better in a non-confrontational manner (losing a few pounds if required, finding the things that make him unique and urge HIM to take some action too)
Help him with style. Not MY style, but help him find a style that works for him and keys-out his personality without making him look foolish.

I would BE A FRIEND and some make time to just hang with him (guy time). I would earnestly try to help him with women...not in a PUA way, or playa way. It would be genuine, and compassionate. I would at TIMES let him vent, cry on my shoulder. Then say "okay, got that out, now keep moving"

Pretty much what gmartinfan said, I would still continue being as best a friend as I could be. Too add a caveat, I would help him only as much as he wanted to be helped, I wouldn't push him too far or shame him, make him feel uncomfortable by calling random chicks over, etc.

Has their ever been anyone from here who finally 'made it' then came back to help and be active in the community? What about former icels/love-shys who came back as assholes and start spouting the typical 'it's all your fault, just go get laid, talk to girls, blah blah blah' b.s.?

Yes I would but it also depends on them. I can't help someone with a defeatist attitude, you have to be open and willing to try new things without always going "but what's the point?" at the end of every sentence.

For an Incel man I would:

First determine the cause of why he is incel (lack of friends, weight, no free time, etc, etc) then offer my help in those categories to improve his chances of meeting a girl. For example if it was weight I'd invite him to run with me in the mornings, help him build a diet plan around foods he likes, invite him to clubs I'm involved with that are physically active, etc.

Then if that doesn't improve his chances on it's own I'd try to set him up with a girl within one of my social circles and/or ask my friends if they know any single ladies or my wife/gf if she knows anyone that would be a good match.

Otherwise I'd just be wingmaning 24/7 regardless of LS/incel. Chilling at a coffee shop? Wingman. At a house party? Wingman. Little friend get-together? Wingman. I'd just try to create as many situations as possible where they could meet a girl and try to create something. I've actually been rather successful helping my friends out like this.

I think that's the one thing I've always wished my friends would do for me.



AFAIK Newhope seems to be the only one that has actually come back, and by come back I mean stop by once every few weeks to put PUA assholes in their place. I've seen him thank a post here and there so he's definitely lurking. I haven't seen any type of successful posters come back and give any insight or advice, just debunk myths over D/S/R.

This is way too hypothetical for me to grasp. A hypothetical scenario I can comprehend; there's just too much hypothetics built in at once here: fully recovered from LS, long-term relationship, girlfriend/wife, more active social life, friend (nevermind the closest)...it assaults my senses just thinking about it. I would liken it to "Angry, passionate and loving anxiety derived from fearful longing of hateful kinship"...too many abstract things here I cannot juggle all at once. I have to say that gmartinfan's advice seems sound. So, if I had to answer, I second his reply.

Yes. If I was cured, and in a happy relationship with a wife or partner, I'd want to help another LS/incel guy in need. I wouldn't forget where I came from, or my titanic struggle to find someone.

I think friends and family should do more to help incel guys. Problem is, it's a hard thing to admit you need help with. My family knows I don't have a girlfriend and never have. But they don't go out of their way to help. My sis has a plethora of single, attractive friends; but does she try and get them to meet me? No. I told my sis I really liked that friend of hers, and she just said 'I can't help you. You'll just have to message her yourself'. She could have put in a good word for me with the friend.

Would a GF change my life for the better? I hope so. Because nothing else seems to work. But back on topic, yeah, I'd want to help.

I probably (no offence to you guys) wouldn't hang out here anymore if I was successful. I might pop in and say hi and see how everyone's going, out of habit (this has been my hangout spot for a long while now).

^ Pretty much how every guy would be.

No. I'd stick around. Don't know why... But I'd stick around.

If I were cured and were allowed to continue on with the genealogy, be the proper man that I was raised to be and have a woman to have, hold, cherish, and love by my side (supporting me each and every step of the way), I would help a fellow incel/loveshy to the best of my abilities. However, I'm with James on this one. There's entirely way too many variables in this one scenario. Being incel/loveshy Isn't just a state of mind; It's a way of life. And to be "cured" of it, we would have to replace the life that we have now (the one that we've known our whole lives; the path that we've walked all along) with a fabricated version of something else.

Yeah, TM. LS becomes a way of life. At times, I even feel strangely secure in it. That scares me. I don't want to be secure in it. I would like that woman to cherish and hold. But it would require a complete change in my way of being.

I wouldn't stick around here if I were successful. I don't like it when successful people come here giving ridiculous advice, so I don't think others like either.

Just don't come in here and boast about how you've unlocked one of life's living/breathing rubik's cubes. I consider some of these guys (on this site) to be EXTREMELY knowledgeable in their field. It's the ones who walk around with an undeserving strut that piss me off.

I might, if I thought they might benefit from it. I could introduce them to the site or at least the book.

Such a scenario sounds too unrealistic to me too. Some miracle would have to happen. But if I was simply lucky, I could not give a constructive advice on recovery from LSness

yes, but I'd probably go for subtle, like invite them along to things and bring them into the conversations rather than embarassing them by letting them know I figured it out (unless they told me themselves of course). I've not so subtly set male friends up with female friends before, but they weren't shy, just in a field where there aren't many girls!