Had some long chats about philosophy with him - sweet torture. He's so damn smart, and I really wish he wasn't SO attractive so I could just talk to him without quaking in my boots.

Then one day, he casually mentioned a technique of walking that was supposed to be good for one's health. It seemed sort of off topic, so I looked it up when I got home... seemed to be a technique for holding one's back straight.

So now I am convinced that while he is okay with me as a person, he is repulsed by me because I slouch. ... I am not actually sure whether I slouch or not.

I really, really wish I wasn't attracted to him so I could just be friends with this guy.

Most (almost all) of my experiences in this area have ended with rejection which varied from sweet and concerned (a couple of times) to more or less having her laugh in my face, often with what seemed to me to be amusement, as if she were saying "You want me? Too bad! Suffer!" In one or two cases it devolved into a sick relationship where she would keep me coming back for more humiliation.

I don't really blame woman-kind for this; these situations involved me pretty much serving myself up for them and almost asking to be kicked. Over time I would take more and more shabby treatment until it was almost inevitable that she would go for the fun of knocking me down! I think I mayinvite this because it's just another way for me to avoid the sex or romance that terrifies me!

I haven't as much as held hands, so I would say an admirer from afar.

I've gotten up to the point of both me and the girl ready (wanting?) to have sex, but couldn't do it, even though I tried as hard as I could.

In another situation with a different oneitis, me and girl both attended volunteer work program, where everybody lived together in the same building (girls separate from guys). She felt my hair in an affectionate way, and told me I look like Eminem. I instantly fell in love at that moment, and I had been completely focused on her and making the relationship work out for about 2 weeks. One night, we went out to a club. When we got back home, we lay on my bed, just us in the room. She was so beautiful to me. I tired so hard to express how much I loved her, but it did not come out. after about 20 minutes she left, and went back to her room. To my great surprise, she came back about 10 minutes later. At that point, I realized that she really did care about me (even if it was just as friends). I also realized this may be my last chance for anything to happen between us. Still, I could not tell her how I felt, or touch her in any way (I wanted to kiss her so much). not only did I feel bad because I was unable to express myself, I also felt guilty, because I was unable to make her happy. a couple days afterwards, she formed a relationship with another guy in the program.

I've only had sex with one girl, and we had sex the first day I met her, and I had no feelings for her.

How can you make friends with them?
BTW, I hate the term 'oneitis' and 'crush'. I prefer to use 'my passion' or 'unrequited'.

The first one was in middle school, lasted 5+ years (Insane!), and I helplessly watched her changing boyfriends like gloves. One of them was my (former) friend. (the pain!) We were on good terms (probably because I did not reveal anything) Yeah, I was a chiiiiiicke-e-e-e-en!

The 3 others... not so much. In each case I somehow managed to pester them enough so they started hating my guts. As in, yelling abuse, going to the other side of the street when they see me, giving me negative attention (as in, trying to single me out of the crowd and humiliate me with some inane stuff). It lasted for 2-3 years typically.

One of them, early highschool, loved to tease me, too. Like, you know, she stands near you, makes dreamy eyes and slutty smile, and when you get closer, she looks at you as if you popped out of the ground - 'I wasn't even looking at YOU!' yeah, right! There's noone else here.
She loved sitting on school desk talking with others, but kinda facing me, strategically positioned so that to my eyeview some white panty was visible under her skirt. When others would say, 'Oh come on, don't try embarass IoriYagami!' 'What do you mean? I don't even mean to. giggle giggle'

The second one, late highschool... Not much, except some verbal shit... 'Oh, we totally could meet up. But only if you drove me there in a car. And a nice one!' She effing KNEW noone my age and background could even have a car, unless your rich and generous daddy makes you a present. (Yeah, I live where public transport is most common form of transportation, for you 'mericans!) 'What do you want from me? Oh no, some little boy fell in love. Tha't so funny. Now leave me alone!'
I was a very good, nerdy student (esp. maths, cs, chem), but I was utter crap at sports and visual arts (drawing, painting). So, she went as far as to steal some my old drawing from the store where all old students works are stored and waved it in front of her giggling friends. "Just look at this... This is how he draws... Oh, this is a tree over a river? Looks more like a hairy blob!" I swear she deliberately chose the lamest and shittiest of my drawings. Yeah, I am no artist, but that was so over the top.

That third, in university, was so far last one... gasp... So, in Uni, we're preparing some crap for group project. She brings some her printouts. Multiple copies enough for whole our group and even more. She slooooowly distributes them. 'Here's for you, and for you, and for you...' She left out only me without a copy. Of the whole fucking group. And, to really drive the nail into my forehead, she leans to me with some extra copies and says: 'And as for you... NO! You'll have to deal without it!' in the front of whole cackling dumbass group. WTF? Was that really necessary?
It is really unnerving to see when she smiles at everyone and scowls only at YOU. During her presentation (some non-linear dynamics about Earth rotaion), she answered questions as usual, but when I made some 'tough cookie' questions (it was about Earth's axis precession), she burst out at me. 'Why you even ask this? You have do know it yourself! Didn't you go to school?' totally in front whole audience. Why, god, why? During group work (I guess, it is some hellish irony that we were assigned to the same group), she would try to shut me up talking whenever she could. Say, I interview some chap to gather data, and she dives in with - 'You're doing everything wrong!' I make some notes - and she immediately retaliates - 'I won't even read that, your handwriting is a total mess!' despite everyone else was perfectly capable of reading this.
And her asshole male friend (LOL, what a lame-ass) promised to break my nose if I ever came close to her again. WTF?

Phew. To be fair, there were some weak and short 'passion' who were much nicer, though still fruitless. One of them even said, she felt sorry she can't reciprocate, since she already has a boyfriend. Niiiice!

I feel so relieved I no longer get this 'illness'. Being just alone is shitty, too, but wanting 'just this exact girl no matter what right now' 'oooh, my lil sweet cutie, just jump into my open arms, will ya?' and knowing 'no way in gazillion years this will happen' 'get away from me, creepy bastard!' is a real, tough and rough downer.

She blew me . Thats how far.

I've made good friends with most of them. I told one of them how deeply in love with her I was, how she was perfect for me and all I ever needed. Unfortunately I was so drunk at the time I could hardly stand so she didn't take it seriously, and the next day I wrote it off as drunk talk, much to her relief.

If your growling "wolf" image, and your words, are meant to imply or convey the idea that we who suffer from Oneitism are weak, because we cant approach a oneitis or date her, then you are very much mistaken.

Fact is, most of the men here are employed, college-educated and successful in many other areas, as well as having fairly high intelligence levels and pretty decent moral standards, from what I have seen.

We are _not_ fucking animals,(you know what I mean) man.

Point is: Just because we are weak in ONE area of life, does not mean that we are weak in ALL areas of life.

My last oneitis I went on numerous dates and had sex with, only to be subjected to various mental abuse through most of said dates and to be told afterwards that she only went out with me because she felt sorry for me, and that I "should have known" that she never had feelings for me. She even went as far as to say " I have started to hate everything about you. You drove me to that" and she basically admitted to acting bitchy/mentally abuse just to get rid of me(because she didn't have the nerve to tell me honestly that she wasn't into me) but I never took the hint.
My current oneitis I tried to talk to three times only to be ignored. I have accepted that she is not interested and all, but it's been almost 5 months now and I still can't get over her. I'm obsessed with her I think about her every day, but I am nothing to her. She wil never notice me. I'm just one of the dozens of suitors thrown in the reject pile.
The worst part is that she rejected me before even ever getting to know me. So I don't even get that closure of knowing for sure that she wouldn't have had feelings if she had.
I always have this nagging feeling like "but what if we had been able to have a single conversation? What if we had hung out with the same group, ect...couldn't she like me if she just got to know what I was like/realized we had so much in common?".
But I have to stop myself because I know she will never give me that chance.

Youch. That hurts. Sorry for you, bro. It's a shame so many men have to go through this.

She is 1/4th of your life; you are 1/500ths of hers. See an imbalance? Same has happened to me. I have a Word document over 20 pages long with only her best pics.

Girls often reject without looking into who a guy is. She doesn't have the time to waste on finding a partner for life. So, it only makes sense that she, IRL, allots as much time as she expects to get out of it.

Um i got a hug once. thing is i think she used to like me bacl in the day.

I once walked together with her for a few minutes and had a nice chat... I know that she likes me but my LS gets the better of me and I cannot do anything to take things further

That would be the one time I actually had the courage to ask her something in the vein of "Is there any chance of some romance happening between us?". She already knew that I was in love with, so I didn't catch her off-guard or anything.

She turned me down, albeit in an honest and friendly manner.

That's the only time I ever even got that far. Normally I don't even get to the point of smalltalk. Hell, I can't even get to smalltalk with girls I'm barely even interested in at all - let alone with an actual oneitis.

That takes serious guts. I'm sorry that she didn't return your feelings, but I'm impressed with how brave and direct you were.

Zip, ziltch, nada.

My Kryptonite (weakness) is a oneitis.

Oh, well, second best is better then nothing I guess.