Desolate Outcast wrote:
IS IT BETTER TO BE MALE OR FEMALE?
I'm kind of new to the forum so apologies if this topic has been brought up before. (Sorry this got so long but I have a lot to say on the subject.)
Been growing more and more preoccupied with the love-shy idea that it's simply better to be female than male in almost every way. So much so that I would choose to be female in a heartbeat. This is not to say I'm one of those "women trapped in a man's body" or want a sex change or anything like that. Just that if God let me go back and do everything over again, I would choose to come back as a girl.
I can't see any downside to being female anymore in western society. Women now dominate in schools, occupy over half the jobs, and can still play the traditional roles of wife and mother if they want. They are put on a pedestal by society and treated better in almost every way. The freedoms they take for granted are ones I will never know. For instance: A woman can choose to work or not work; a man has to work. A woman can dress like a woman or like a man; a man has to dress like a man. A woman doing a "man's" job, like computer technician or engineer, is lauded as a pioneer and example of women's progress; a man doing a "woman's" job, like nurse, dancer or model, is ridiculed. A woman under attack is expected to be defended and assisted; a man under attack is expected to "be a man" or to "man up" and not let anyone push him around. If a woman refuses her "responsibilities" of cooking and cleaning in the home, she is liberated and empowered; if a man refuses his "responsibilities" of being the breadwinner, he is a deadbeat. A woman who argues that men have it better is defending her rights; a man who argues that women have it better is a jealous whiner.
Now you would think with all this extra freedom would come extra responsibilities. But women's responsibilities (as caregiver and nurturer) have actually diminished. Yet there has been no corresponding increase in men's freedom at all (except for homosexuals).
At the risk of exaggerating, I believe being born female is like winning the lottery. You get all the special treatment and privileges handed to you, having done nothing to earn it. You are a higher class of human -- regarded as more attractive, more valuable, more deserving of support and compassion than those without breasts. What do you get by being born male? A shorter life expectancy and greater risk of mental illness, suicide, genetic disorders, alcoholism, social isolation, school dropout, incarceration, much longer prison sentences, etc. No wonder parents selecting the sex of their babies now pick female 75% of the time. In this culture, I would absolutely do the same.
Women have problems too but women's problems are seen as crises by society. Just imagine what would happen if all the homeless men you see in big cities were women. Those women would not be homeless for long. There would be an outcry over how society had let them fall through the cracks and massive efforts to get those women off the street. Already, more social programs and shelters exist for women only than for men, even though men probably account for over 90% of the homeless. Similarly, look at all the attention and funding devoted to breast cancer versus prostate cancer. Both kill equal numbers but prostate cancer gets only a fraction of the attention, for no other reason than that all its victims are male. (So, sorry to say this, but as long as most love-shy victims are male, society is really not going to give a crap.)
Now I realize that for a very long time, it was the other way around. Guys had all the rights and freedoms while women could not have a career or even vote. Some feminists would say modern men deserve to suffer for something that happened before they were even born and which they had nothing to do with... just as girls today somehow deserve special treatment because of past injustices which they themselves will never experience. But does this logic make any sense?
All this eats me up inside because I know that with my temperament I would have made a much better woman than a man. My shyness would be perceived as demure and attractive instead of creepy and unconfident. I could show little or no outward interest in the opposite sex without being seen as gay. I could make a small salary and have no car without it reducing my attractiveness one bit. My low self-esteem would elicit compassion instead of revulsion. I could show more interest in art, culture and psychology than in beer, sports and monster truck rallies without my sexuality being questioned. As a virgin, I'd be seen as pure instead of a loser. Even without approaching anyone, I would get lots of practice at social skills because they would approach me. In short, my life would have been a success instead of a failure.
If any girl should read this and disagree, I'd like to say just be grateful you won the lottery when you were born. Be thankful you dodged a bullet. It could've been so much worse, you really have no idea. I would give anything to be you.
I'd put it this way:
A broke woman > than a broke man
Rich man > Rich woman
Once (if) a man starts accumulating wealth the situation gets better.
Women are getting more sucessful, which I think is because women are becoming more educated than men at an increasingly faster rate.
Society do tend to cater to women on many levels. As a woman you will tend to be paid more attention to, (catered to), offerred more free services.
But with women though looks play a much bigger role.
I just had an experience at the barber shop where I was getting a haircut when a woman came in and asked us (a bunch of guys) if anyone knew where she could find an afterhours mechanic. Everybody said no. She left. When she left, one of the barbers said, now if that woman was hot somebody in here would have been trying to find her a mechanic even if they didn't know nothing about cars.
Ugly women will still get catered to but on a much much lower level.
But depending on the environment many societies still expect men to lead and what not so a lot of times men end up being managers or bosses more than women (although that is changing).
I'd say a man with a lot of money will have it a little better than a woman with money but probably by not much.
But think the situation depends all on the perspective