I suspect dormant but in the mean time, I am not driven to fling myself at scum. That part of the supposed drive I do not understand. It seems pointless outside certain bounds I imagine all the hindrances to fall away within.

That makes sense. I had a very sexual friend confess to me that sex was inherently gross, and only the surrounding theme and symbolism made it appealing.

i'm not sure I could be with an asexual. you can say "it's only sex", but well, how about no talking either? the implication, it feels like an integral part of intimacy and bonding to me, not merely an occasional bit of pleasure.
not that i'll probably ever be able to speak from experience, but still

I went with average, it has been kind of low lately. Hopefully it'll stay that way.

I can't pinpoint it. It fluctuates based on many factors (such as how many girls I meet up with, what kinds, what I see, etc.). I would like to think that since I workout on average twice a day that all that testosterone may contribute to a higher sex drive, but who knows? Regardless, I have never been in a situation where I would choose physical sex over emotional intercourse.

What is emotional intercourse?

Glad you asked.

I refrained from answering the past few days since I was in the mood to dismiss it as "sex where one of them may care", but...

There are a couple of ways to define the essence of what I mentioned, perhaps its basest form is indeed merely "caring" when one is having sex. However, I would chose to define it more in a multi-faceted sense of the definition of intercourse (http://dictionary.reference.com/browse/intercourse?s=t). Have you heard of the Asari in Mass Effect? To prepare for what I am claiming, read up on their mating habits to give an idea of what I am claiming (http://masseffect.wikia.com/wiki/Asari). An interplay of thoughts, feelings, memories, and life experiences that are augmented by mutual attraction not only in the physical, but emotional, moral, etc. realms is what I am hinting at. Also, in a more literary sense, like the physical "insertion", one "inserts" him/herself into the other person's life. For example, I read about a girl's life experiences, and, suddenly, a strong desire for me to have lived with her in that moment comes upon me, an "insertion" if you will. To live with her, even in the past, and to experience with her in enjoyment, captures the essence of this "emotional intercourse". And, she, of course, me...inserting (projecting) herself into my life.

I can explicate more, but this, I hope, gives you an idea of what I was referring to.

It would be handy if women would just GET ON WITH IT and do that.

Asari <3 Gotta love that species. And Tali'Zorah, of course.

So basically a metaphor for emotional intimacy? It's a very nice concept, and thanks for the explanation, though I would personally not use this term since people would inevitably associate it with sexual intercourse.




What the hell did I just watch.

Creamy Old England! Stephen Fry and Hugh Laurie having a bit of an England...wordgasm...

My sex drive is weird. I think it's because there is a learned blockage in my 2nd chakra from being a virgin so long. I didn't have sex until 24. I got horny, but I sort of mentally shut that part off. It also didn't help that I went to a Baptist school that practically did a course on how evil it is to have sex without being married and intending to procreate.

But I did have boyfriends who got horny, and as I had to take care of them, I had to train myself to not get aroused so I could stay a virgin. It was hard, but not impossible. You just have to disconnect your mind from your body.Also, when you're a virgin, you don't know what you're missing.


The problem came later, when I met my fiance. I had the hardest time untraining myself! I'd go into "please boyfriend" mode, and shut down. Finally he told me if he wasn't allowed to please me, I wasn't allowed to please him. Eventually I got to the point where I would allow myself to feel aroused, feel pleasure. But there's this weird disconnect sometimes.

Like, I'd think I don't want sex, but my BODY decides it does. It's almost like I get horny without knowing it! I'm glad my man can read my body better than me. Sometimes, he'll tell me that I look like I need to make love, I'd swear I don't and that I'm too tired or something, and he'd insist. In the end he's usually right on the mark, because these are the times when I have the CRAZIEST orgasms! Sometimes even multiple.

So I don't know my own sex drive. I rated it, but it's possible it's higher than I think it is.

I have no idea.

I'd have to say mine is pretty low. I mean I get occasional erections but I'm not pining for sex at any given moment.

I used to have a moderalty high sex drive. It lowered after 5 months of incel partly do to myself accepting being incel and attempt to not see women in the sexual way.