Especially if you're a guy, because there is a shortage of "sweet" men. I act sweet all the time and girls sometimes act interested in me. I know correlation doesn't always mean causation, but when you combine their reactions to me with my other sexy traits (not many), I figured that was probably the reason. Well, to be fair, I don't have a girlfriend but that's because there is no one at my school that I really love - a bunch that I can imagine dating, but no one stands out.

In before you get a lot of hate and something along the lines of “girls are shallow bitches. If you’re not rich and/or handsome, you can be as kind as you want - they won’t be interested.” I kind of agree with you. It’s nice to be around positive (meaning, not full of vile) people who treat you like human beings and who themselves are decent human beings. Just don’t take it overboard and be a spineless kissass.

Not to let the air out of your tires but I don't see this as an effective means of attracting women.

I'm intelligent, financially successful, very generous and tend to be well liked wherever I go. I also have a tendency (despite my better judgement) to help people in need. These things have literally NEVER gotten me any romantic interest from women. On the other hand, it has attracted a lot of needy overly dependent people who are unable and/or unwilling to reciprocate my generosity.

Women of my race(s) typically see(s) 'sweet' men as weaklings and like to 'test' them; leading to confrontations that can easily spiral out of control. Everyone else is stuck on the race issue itself; saying "it's just a preference" and no amount of 'sweetness' will change their mind.

You know what, I guess it's possible that the girls just want to be friends with me. I mean, in terms of looks, I have a pretty awful body, my only body parts that are semi-decent are maybe my face and hair.

Dude, the friend-zone sucks... No matter what fairy tale crap people try to throw at you, don't ever make the mistake of being "friends" with a woman you're attracted to. She will exploit your generosity and you will never get what you (really) want out of the deal. The experience would be even worse than if you'd never met any woman at all.

I'm not trying to make friends with women before they're dating them. I'm just saying that most girls probably only want me as friends, not as partners like I previously thought.

I do understand your intentions. I was just warning you to keep aware of the fact that some women (many, actually) may try to become your friend; expecting all the benefits of an actual relationship (you doing them favors, paying for stuff etc.) without offering anything substantial in return.

The friend-zone is just the most widely recognized scenario since men typically don't seek out female 'friends' due to other men being beter candidates for true friendship. Women on the other hand, are conditioned to exploit male utility value and will sometimes try to befriend you; not because they enjoy your company or share interests with you but for what you could potentially do for them.

I know not all women are like this but most are. While I won't try to dissuade you from having female friends, my experience is that women (regardless of your relationship type) tend to take men for granted; as is encouraged by today's society. Do what you feel is right (for you) but always watch your back.

What if they are around my age? (18) I'm not sure if it is as common in my situation.

Throughout my life, there has been a recurring theme; that any time a male and female try to become friends, one or both of two things happens.

- one of them (usually the guy) wants more than just friendship. I've had it happen both ways.

- the female will attempt to leverage her femininity to get special treatment at some point. (Female relatives are not excluded from this.)

This has been the case with almost every woman I've ever been close to.

Edit: Since it's been over 20 years since I was 18, take what I say with a grain of salt. However, this pattern has been repeating from when I was 18 into my current life.

Being 'nice' may help. But it won't get you anywhere on it's own, except possibly the friend zone. This is assuming you don't get labeled as a 'nice guy'.

The sweetness will not be concerned with me!

I used to think looks was the most important factor, but a recent experience showed that advantageous variable at best. Propinquity and being sexually aggressive are probably the things that determine whether anything comes to pass. Being socially maladapted is a death sentence, seeing being sweet as a plus is just overly naive. While being wealthy might help generate interest, I would not think of it as a precursor for authentic attraction.

I think attraction is much more opaque than usually assumed. A girl I was really into and lead me on is now in a five month relationship with a balding, bespectacled, skinny redhead with whom she had on-off-thing for the past year. While not completely hideous I wouldn't call him attractive by any stretch. His parents might be loaded but he has a lower position than her. I'm sure he is nice to her sometimes and I'm sure he's acting like a dick sometimes. He just capitalised on her having a momentary sexual need and things took off from there. The fact that this went from friendship over casual sporadic flings to stable relationships showcases that people can settle for each other and that neurochemical reactions associated with and the extended periods of physical closeness and sex self-perpetuate.

While I'd genuinely consider myself objectively better looking then him, I just (if they were actually authentic, which is impossible to tell at this point) dismissed her advances for months and never entertained a continuous interaction with. Which in retrospect was a good thing because it would have exacerbated matters and caused more problems down the road considering that she was even more of a degenerate slut than I initially assumed. Still the point stands, he was around, stimulated something in her, made his sexual intent clear and capitalised on it in the past.

There is some x-factor neurotypicals and adequately socialised people are tapped into that love-shys and incels seem completely divorced from. It's just extremely hard to pinpoint. Continuous exposure while displaying clear sexual intent in moments (which is highly favoured if you have low inhibition) seems to be the primary determinant. Everything else is just icing on the cake and superfluous when an acute need exists. Honestly, I think it just comes down to: When a girl wants to fuck (you), you fuck her or you miss the boat. The less genuine and rigid and the more frivolous and uninhibited you are about sex and intimacy the higher your potentiality for success.

Saying that being unequivocally sweet is anything but a detractor for sexual success is just far-fetched. It infantilises or even feminises you in the eyes of potential mating partners and relegates you to being a resource instead of a lover. Women are not good and reflected people that value traditionally moral traits. They are generally very base and their prime imperative is the fulfilment of their immediate necessities in the pursuit of which they throw everything else out of the window. Morals, as far as they're capable of having them, social propriety and even standards to an extent. You don't have to be the best choice, just the best choice that is immediately accessible to her.

I've been called 'sweet' by women I've asked out all my life. And of course, what this really means is I'm not the least bit sexy in their eyes. The very few women who have actually accepted my invitation to spend time with me inevitably told me about some Chad they fucked (or wanted to fuck) who was completely inconsiderate and barely paid them any attention outside the bedroom.

Ugly guys will always be 'sweet' (if they want to be) because it's their only resource for attempting to woo a lady. Even if they're rich or have high status, women won't get past their looks. Look at Harvey Weinstein, one of the most unattractive brutes in Hollywood, yet because of his power status, he convinced women to touch him. Now it's finally come full circle and bitten him in the ass.

The ugly guys who have grown bitter and cynical won't even speak to women because they know it's a lost cause. So they'll spend their evenings alone playing video games and watching porn.

I recently turned 57 and have absolutely no women in my life. Except for an occasional run-in on the job, it's been this way for over 5 years. And even then, women rejected me except for when they needed a favor (and like the fool that I was and probably still am, I granted those favors. When you agree to babysit your oneitis's cat while she's out of town, you're not even a blip on her sexual or romantic radar).

Being 'sweet' doesn't have to mean being a doormat. But unless a woman is physically attracted to you in the first place, it ultimately doesn't matter.

Everybody, just so you know, I knew the topic sounded ridiculous when I came up with it, but I was just reporting on what I personally experienced in my life. I may have been a bit confused, but I wasn't just going in naive or whatever.

I don't think most women befriend guys to exploit them for favours etc in exactly the same way I don't think most men set out to exploit women just for sex but it does happen and people feel used, either way. Personally, I hold strong value in friendship in my life and that does include with men (being in a relationship or not) as I love to connect with people, don't have kids or anything so in the longer run, forming a "friendship family" is one of my goals and is important. I would never rule out half of the population or less purely for them being straight guys as if a guy tells me they want friendship, I assume they are being honest. I think people should be honest and open over what they want and I've had lots of guys past and present happy to have a friendship with me. Yes a lot of the time it did turn out that really they wanted to date but I had no idea. Other times not and often the ones I wanted to date friendzoned me. There's probably something deeper at play with that scenario, though.

I think many women are genuine over guy friends they have. Women maybe need guy friends more than you need us as friends and whilst I do think women do benefit from favours from guys they don't want to have sex with, I think most people want or need a SUPPORT NETWORK in life. I think most need people who care, someone who will look out for us, someone whom if we died alone in our home, someone else would check on us and know. Someone who is able to see us, help us grow as people, help us be creative and achieve our goals, understand us and so on.